[QMCwife]

Thank you, I think I understand a bit more. I really appreciate the time you all took to answer.

[Kate]

I agree astral - if I need to put a warning in something I generally try to add a description of why so other members can decide if they are up to reading it. It is all very subjective of course, what is a trigger and what is not, but it helps to give some kind of heads up if the topic is one that is more obviously likely to be triggering. // time to stop bludging in our hotel room and get back to honeymoon!! :)/>

[~Rosie~]

I find this a big confusing thing... If I don't put a warning, then I worry I might upset someone, but if I do put a warning then I worry it's not needed!

I like the idea of being more specific about warnings - I'll try to do that in the future!

I know it's subjective, but some general more official guidelines would probably be great. I don't know if these exist anywhere already, but maybe re-link to them if they do? Sometimes there's those links right at the top of the Forum to important news or new guidelines we should read - maybe a link to some general ideas and guidelines about trigger warnings as one of those links would be good? I'd certainly really like that.

[Kate]

Hi Rosie,

The way I view it, if I am going to talk about my story in some detail, or if I were to talk about struggling with self-injury or eating disorders or even suicide, I would put in a trigger warning. If I was going to link to a news story or website that had graphic discussions on it, I would add a trigger warning. If I was talking about my personal feelings or healing journey, I wouldn't necessarily add a trigger warning unless it had some of the elements listed in my first few sentences.

Of course though, there is absolutely no way to avoid triggers on the board, and no member should be logging in thinking that is possible! If you were to happen to post something that upset another person, that is really not your fault. I'm sure I've done it too in the past. The most important thing for members here to do is to expect that triggers will arise and to work on ways to handle them when they do come up. Even posting a thread about how to deal with triggers that come up on the board can be helpful and has been done in the past!

The difficulty is that most triggers are so completely subjective - have you ever read through the "anybody else have weird triggers" thread? For example, I am triggered by kindergarten/child-care centres. I would not expect any member to add a trigger warning every time they mentioned one of those, or even to limit talking about those things on the board - that is my trigger and it's my responsibility to find a way to manage those triggers on the board. There is even a member on the board here who has a pet with the same name as one of my rapists, whom she often talks about - I would never dream of saying something to that member because again, it is something personal to me only and I can't expect her to not talk about her beloved pet just because one member finds it triggering. I think a trigger is not something that necessarily needs to be hidden from - great healing can be found in facing that trigger rather than trying to avoid it.

I can relate to feeling confused about what is and is not okay to post without a trigger, but just remember that if you don't happen to put a warning on a post that has triggering elements, it is no problem at all for us to pop one in, and we often do around the board. And there is no harm done in just saying "May be triggering for ...... (talk of rape, depression, anger, etc), I'm not sure!".

[~Rosie~]

Thank you Kate, that makes me feel a lot better!

[flutefairy]

i may be selfish but i feel like if i put TWs i hardly get read.

i know that i would feel bad putting someone's personal safety at risk. but glad this is cleared up....at least a bit.

[Kate]

Hi Rosie,

We've written up an article about what a trigger is/how to use a trigger warning and popped it into the Board Basics forum, you can find it here. Thanks for the suggestion! :)/>

Kate

[~Rosie~]

Great! Thanks for that :)/>