Welcome to Pandora's Aquarium, a rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivor message board and chat room.
If you've been a victim of any type of sexual violence, you belong here. What you see below represents just a fraction of the resources and survivor support available. Register now to join our community and take full advantage of what this online support group has to offer you as you heal and recover, or sign in to remove this message.
You are not alone, we can support you as you heal, and you've made an important step toward recovery by reaching out. If you are unable to register or have any questions, please contact the staff or view our home page.
5 worst betrayals how did you work through them?
Posted 05 November 2010 - 03:47 AM
I also felt betrayed by my parents and older sister, because they were there the entire time but never noticed what was going on with me. I know that isn't exactly real betrayal, but that's how it felt... I wish they could have protected me.
Posted 07 November 2010 - 08:23 PM
The second one was my sister, she was paranoid one time, freaked out and left a bruise on my arm, and then when she decided to tell me she almost had a rage attack whilst I was sleeping, I left home and my mom blamed me for leaving even though I told her that my sister was psychotic.
Posted 09 November 2010 - 08:00 AM
2. After my sister attempted suicide she said, "After you told me what happened to you too, I just couldn't handle it."
3. My mother's alcoholism and abuse growing up
4. My silent adopted dad
5. The many ways I betrayed myself: SI, addictions, self-hatred, risky behaviors
Posted 12 December 2010 - 10:33 PM
second was my good friend/sisters ex-boyfriend. He knew i had issues with (hating) myself and he raped me which makes me hate myself so much more.
Posted 14 December 2010 - 08:17 PM
Posted 13 January 2011 - 03:39 PM
Posted 15 January 2011 - 04:30 PM
1 - was the fact that my attacker/abuser was a policeman
2 - Just before xmas I told someone i thought was my best friend (maybe even more), we talked for about a week with me skirting round the topic he just kept asking question, with me giving really short/one word answers until there it was cards laid on the table. He was great, we went through loads of different options but i decided that when Paul next contacted me i was going to let him know that i had told someone who believed me and if he ever got in touch or came near me again i was going to report him. That was then, now he is completely ignoring me
Posted 15 January 2011 - 05:41 PM
I read this and honestly it sounds like something my mother would do. That is just so wrong on so many levels. And then to say it is the "Christian" thing to do??? My mom knew my stepfather was molesting me and she should have known he was r*ping me, although I didn't remember that until a few years ago at the point of a near breakdown. Once the molesation went outside the family (my sister's best friend) she came to me and asked about it. My stepfather made the accusation that my sister was lesbian and he had walked in on my sister and her friend. My mom was believing this by the time I found out. I blew a fuse. I told her he did it to me and she was doing the same thing, not believing it! She got angry at what I said! Word started to get out, and I'm sure she was afraid of him being arrested, so she suddenly decided to throw him out of the house. Never mind that he beat the living hell out of me and my sister, molested and r*ped me, but word might get out in town! Fast forward to last winter. New step father. Him and my mother (who me and my sons call by first name as she has never been a mom or grandmother) begged me to move to one of their farms to take care of their horses. The day after I arrive, they have told me the farm I was to work and live at, they have put up for sale! The day AFTER I move me and my son two hours from our home. We lived in a basement with no heat. I started looking for a job since working with the horses wasn't going to be an option. My son and I came back one day when they were gone. My car got stuck part of the way up their two mile driveway. I had tried to drive on the snow covered driveway as my son has asthma. Breathing cold air sends him into an attack. The winds were blowing 60MPH and I was terrified he would have an attack as we reached the house. I wrapped a scarf around his face in an effort to warm the air, if possible he would be breathing. He was exhausted when we reached home. A few hours later, I hear knocking on the back door and my stepfather comes through it cussing and screaming "look at what you have done to your mother!" Their car got stuck (because of mine) and they had to walk. My mom was standing there with this helpless look on her face, saying nothing. He started screaming at my son and went towards him. I ran over in front of him and said hell no, if you have something to say, then settle it with me. He continued degrading me and my son. All the while my mom just stood there. As when I was a kid, I waited for her to say something, hell anything. She didn't. The next day, me and my son went to a motel. Before I left mom wasn't happy until she "justified" everything her husband said. I left knowing then, that nothing she does or says will ever surprise me. And she wonders why we call her by her first name? She never acted like a mother and never will.
Posted 03 March 2011 - 08:02 PM
This post has been edited by shelst: 03 March 2011 - 08:06 PM
Posted 04 March 2011 - 01:15 PM
Hi shelst, Im so sorry to read your post that is the ultimate betrayal, I will never understand parents that can be like this, my family are the same, I have nothing to do with them anymore and my life is richer for not having them in it.I just wanted to let you know that I can relate to how youre feeling and Im sorry that your parents have done that to you, its beyond my understanding. well done for posting, the first ones are the hardest. take care of yourself, Jo :hug:/>
Posted 10 March 2011 - 11:59 AM
2. My parents befriended my rapist when he started attending their church - and they knew about the rape.
3. My ex-husband ended up sexually abusing me despite pretending to be supportive and condemning the abuse I endured.
4. My ex, at least I suspect, has gotten my oldest to turn against me and not speak to me because I cut off contact with him and will not pander to his mind games anymore.
5. My MIL twisted my situation to use it against me at her convenience and has tried to insinuate that my estrangement with my family of origin is my fault now that her son (my husband) refuses to tolerate her abuse... and yes she knows I'm an incest survivor.
Posted 10 March 2011 - 08:48 PM
2. My "friend" who said; "I notice that you like to play the rape card a lot" when I made reference to him stopping to speak to me shortly after I was raped as an adult and how much it hurt.
3. The guy that befriended me online and pretended to have romantic feelings for me when he was only trying to as he later told get "gather information" about me to use to stalk/harass me with his friends. When I asked him why he said; "you seemed vulerable."
4. The people on the eating disorder support board that I was a member of. People said I "whined" and complained" because I dared look for support there. Then when my stalkers showed up and said I "made up stories about being raped so people would feel sorry for" me, everyone believed then. There was a running "joke" there that I "lied about being raped."
5. The friend who claimed I made it up to get his "attention/affection."
Posted 15 March 2011 - 05:19 AM
one told me he didn't care after
one told me he was different and assaulted me. Said I "played the raped card". Emotionally manipulated me into staying in a relationship despite the fact the the stress of it was nearly killing me in its physical manifestations.
one best-friend I lived with disrespected my need to feel safe at home
one best-friend told me I needed to get over it.
This post has been edited by loveinflames: 15 March 2011 - 05:22 AM
Posted 23 April 2011 - 08:35 AM
It happened on holiday by the DJ of a bar and despite the fact they were in the next room when it happened; they still went back to the same bar every night before we left because they fancied two of the bar staff....who were with them when it happened..
They heard me screaming and although they tried to stop it, they couldn't and I just don't understand how they could go back there...
I don't think I can ever forgive them for that and how guilty they made me feel for lashing out at them....
Most of all, I feel most betrayed by myself because I'd allowed myself to get into that situation and now I'm trying to pretend to everyone back home that my holiday was fantastic....I just cant face telling them the truth...
Posted 23 April 2011 - 10:31 PM