Pandora's Aquarium: Doing the Right thing.... - Pandora's Aquarium

I just don't get it... I don't get why I am being punished? My whole life, I always thought about others tried to make others people lives easier to do what is right. Held morals, followed ethics, and I am being punished? I don't get it, haven't I suffered enough. I never once threaten the guy that raped me, I never did or was planning to hurt him or anyone in his family. I just wanted to know the truth, to get closure, for him to stop coming in and out of my life as he did. I even explained over and over that I had been abused before, that I couldn't handle this. I just wanted the truth to understand why he would keep sleeping with me. and Im the criminal... Im the one being punished for being raped. Im the only that sat with the police for 4 hours explaining what had happened, the gaps in my memories. How I had such a hard time putting things to get together, how I tired fixing things in which were never fixable. How I apologized over and over, how I kept explaining that I had nothing. All I hear the police telling me that If I had money it would have been different. If I had a supportive family, how things would be different all the things in which I was never given. It hurts so bad. Its bad enough this person never wanted anything to do with me, its bad enough I had to put up with abuse and the rape, but why am I being punished? The police where protecting this person before I ever got involved, they where scrastic when I told about the what had happened and where even making jokes, I feel so depressed. So bad about myself... I just want things to be over.... I just want my life to be over....