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TERRIBLE setback.

Posted by SomebodyLoveMe , 11 August 2013 · 57 views

holy shit. today has been one of the worst days i've had in a long time. i had two completely EXPLOSIVE meltdowns within three hours. i sat in my car sobbing hysterically and screaming bloody murder for an hour. then i came home and chilled out a little bit, but i was triggered again. back to my car, back to the sobbing, back to the screaming.

it's not considered "running away" because i'm eighteen, but since i'm considered disabled, my mom has been instructed to keep incredibly close tabs on me. but i have my trunk packed with all the stuff i'd need to "run away." extra clothes, blankets, toiletries, food and shit like that. my mom and a few other people hunted me down because i'm a danger to myself or something. so now i'm home...and totally unhappy with that.

and now i'm pregnant, which adds a few more things for me to worry about. i haven't heard from my boyfriend in over a week. he's going to great lengths to avoid me. it's pretty heartbreaking, especially this is so not like him. it feels like he doesn't even want me us. i'm also having these severe pains that almost bring me to tears. i'm starting to get concerned because they've been very persistent.

i've had extreme urges to turn to self mutilation for comfort, but i can't. i can't find it in my heart to do it. minus the baby, i'm sure this would be going completely different.

December 2014

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