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he thinks it will all blow over

Posted by nee , 26 July 2012 · 83 views

well, it's been almost a week of the husband not speaking to me. he finally wrote me an email, not apologizing, just explaining why he has been such a jerk. i know the reasons. he doesn't want his son to go back to where he was living before. his son is 18 and doesn't have to, nor does he want to live with his mother. he wants to leave in the same area he was raised in. he likes it there and he has friends. i really don't want his son here. all he talks about is kicking someone's ass...i hate it. i wasn't brought up like that and i don't want to live with constantly looking over my shoulder to see who he's pissed off and has instigated a fight with. he's only been here since april. within the past week he has gotten kicked out of a restaurant, told his boss to take his job and shove it up his ass...and flipped off a cop. i have enough on my plate without having to deal with that bs. i'm ready for him to leave...go back to the drama that he wants to have.

i've been very short with my husband. i really don't even want to talk to him. i'm tired of his bs too. sunday he packed up all his shit and told me he was leaving...so GO. all i ask of these people is to pick up after themselves, give me a little help and i'm fine.

today, i went into survival mode. started having flashbacks of when i had to do it with my ex. it really really scared me. all day i was thinking how to get out of the marriage with the least amount of drama. started with bank accounts, then different bills...and finally how to get him to leave. i survived my ex by hiding my girls and i for 3 days when he was served divorce papers. it was a scary scary time.

i haven't cried. i won't let myself. i am preparing myself to do what i have to, what's best for me. when i come out of this mode...it will be rough. i don't trust anyone hardly now as it is. my girls are my only friends.

he was suppose to be my knight in shining armor...was suppose to rescue me from my awful life. it didn't happen. what went wrong??

he tried to come to me a while ago and talk to me. i don't want to talk to him. i don't want to look at him. i'm so pissed right now at him. he thinks he'll just come to me and everything will be just like nothing happened. i can't do that anymore. some things have to change and i can't change them.



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