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what goes around comes around

Posted by bellaroo , 01 August 2013 · 187 views

I am staying at a good friends house and her friend pawned some of my belongings. So I can say this till I'm blue in the face and most people probably won't believe me but here's the thing...I realized the hurt I caused before all of this happened ...but now its an even deeper hurt. I guess I got what was coming to me. But it just makes me feel so sick to my stomach... I'm so very sorry for the things I've done. It just breaks my heart to know how much I hurt such wonderful people who were only just trying to help me!! I just wish I could take everything back... I'm such an awful person. I'm hoping that in time I will be able to gain trust and have a relationship. I didn't mean to do any of this...I will never be able to forgive myself for any of this damage I've caused. I'm so remorseful and I just want to show them that. I can't bare this pain. I'm so sick...can't eat,can't sleep, just want to be able to apologize. GAHHHH

Aug 01 2013 05:29 PM
i don't entirely know about your situation, but i know the feeling of wanting to make things right so bad that it completely consumes you. i've been in far too many situations where i hurt someone i love, and then look back at it and absolutely hate myself for it. but i learned that being hard on yourself only makes it worse. things i've done years ago still occasionally live in the back of my head, and it hurts. it helps to forgive yourself first and then go from there.
this is just my unsolicited advice, and i hope it's welcome. if not, i apologize.
I thank you very much for the advice! It is greatly appreciated. I just don't know what to do to make things right and I don't think I ever will be able to but I guess that's something I have to deal with

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