Jump to content






Photo

Too much

Posted by Sammyxxx , 30 September 2013 · 129 views

Went back to my Dr today - he was running 40mins late so I had a long stint in the waiting room, it was loud and I wanted to tune it all out and retreat into my mind but I was afraid I would miss hearing my name being called so I sat on full alert freaking out inside and on the verge of tears, wanting to run out of there and home. I was finally called and the Dr apologised for keeping me waiting and then for under medicating me last time - so my dose of gabapentin is now to be increased over the next week or two.

I got out and handed in my script at the chemist so I need to collect it tomorrow. I decided despite feeling overwhelmed to head into town for a mooch around. My mood did not improve I went through the motions but the thought that kept running through my mind was that if I do this today I can spend the rest of the week at home and wont have to go out again, except to the chemist. I could find no pleasure in my outing today at all. I needed to get the bus to the supermarket on the way home and then wait for my husband to pick me up so I had time to kill and boy did it feel like an eternity. I got to the bus stop too early so sat and watched two go by I could have gotten on. I felt very aware that nobody I saw looked happy, I wondered if anyone was happy anywhere - perhaps just children I thought as they don't understand the mess of this world.

I wont continue with the tale of my day - it did not improve and even now home and in my dressing gown I feel cold and uncomfortable. I am so very down, I ache all over and have jabbing pains going on here and there intermittently, my head is aching - probably from crying again. I feel like a wretched thing, nothing like me. I don't understand why I feel so bad of late, things are not all bad and I have things I should be happy about. I keep telling myself I need to find some happiness within me, need to make myself smile somehow but it would seem to be like asking night to be day. Please let tomorrow see a return to a happier me again..



It is very difficult to be happy when in physical pain on top of emotional pain. I know all about that. I have fibromyalgia and it causes me pain like you described. I take Lyrica twice a day and amitriptyline at night so I can sleep will.

Gabapentin sounds similar to my amitriptyline. I hope the increase gives you some relief.

Take good care of you.

October 2014

S M T W T F S
   1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
2627282930 31  

Recent Entries

Recent Comments

Categories

Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.