Pandora's Aquarium: The World - Pandora's Aquarium

Sometimes I feel guilty feeling the way I do, especially with the school shooting in CT and a gun man who shot in the parking lot in Newport, CA. Watching the news just makes me realize -- do not mean to offend anyone -- just how much society is really messed up. I hate to say, but after talking to a pastor recently as well as reading a daily prayer book, it is true that the world is supposed to be at peace and relaxed. I just hope it will get like this; but know it will most likely not occur during this lifetime. I just needed to get this out just for my own sake.



I do feel like in a way that I am getting "stronger" but I still wince or get a bit angry over those who purposely others. Makes me sick, sad, angry but I am trying my best to pray for them -- especially those who even use God as a "weapon" when in all reality, they are coming off as an idiot when doing that.



I always dread the holiday because it does seem as I get older, true colors come out. I am just venting but been stressed and overwhelmed because I have two finals left when some schools have been finished. I just wanted to get a week off before the holidays, but once I am done with my finals, those two will be around.



I just want to learn how to let these sort of people "ruin" my life. Been praying to live in the moment and that my worries, stress and anxiety can go away. I am still scared of a lot of things -- especially being open about this -- but I know that if I am feeling like this, there is NO WAY that these people are "happy." Yet, I do not want to wish these people misery, etc.



I guess I will start seeing that going to church -- which I hope I do as soon as school ends -- will release all my anger, worries, stress and blues as the pastor speaks.