People, that I thought were my friends.
I feel so alone I can feel my heart actually aching. How can people be so cruel? As if being raped and having to go to trial isn't bad enough. Do people think I am enjoying this? Do people think I enjoy having half the town hate my guts?
Do people think I enjoy waking up every morning to this? This time last year I thought I was in love, I thought I had found someone who truly, deeply loved me. I thought he was my best friend and I never thought he would ever do something to harm me. That all seems like a lifetime ago now.
I just don't understand how people can be so naive. I guess it's easier to believe that I'm just some crazy skank that had too much to drink and cried rape rather than the alternative, that he is actually guilty.
Police don't usually charge people based on no evidence, if I am lying why was he charged? If I am lying why did he admit to it, to more than one person, on more than one occasion?
What did I do to deserve being treated like the criminal in all of this?
I am getting to the point now where I usually spend 90% of my day thinking about why I shouldn't just go and kill myself.
I no longer have any self worth. No drive. No desire to get out of bed in the mornings. I hate myself so much I just want the pain to go away.