I feel bad for e-mailing him. Bad for leaving him a message while he is gone because it grounds me. I feel so stupid about the whole thing. Feel like I am asking for too much. Being too needy. It is disgusting.
I'd try to phone his colleagues but it is useless. They just know that I'm struggling with a past trauma anniversary. And I don't even know what help I want. Someone to magically make it all better.
I just feel sick. Being this huge emotional vampire. I hate myself for it. Why can't I handle this myself???