Its just going all wrong.
I am sick of being belittled and shot down. This happens anyway but I don't need it on my internship. My lecturer fought for me to get the position back and I am worried she will see this as ungrateful. I feel like everyone must hate me. My part time job as singing in bars was doing ok. Then I freaked. I'm usually given a list of what to play and I was given a song my abuser would sing.
I'm feeling so lost and low. Angry and scared. I think sometimes I failed. When I get my s.I to stop, my eating habits get worse and vise versa. I had beer good for a while. So I guess there is hope.