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Therapy is like a bad comedy sketch

Posted by r_tyler , in Therapy 22 August 2013 · 151 views

I have no idea what my T thinks is useful about what we are doing. I feel worse when I talk to her and frustrated about the whole thing. To be clear, it's just went to the fifth session, so maybe I am prematurely frustrated.

Me: I feel like my emotions aren't reflections of reality and that they are giving me false input. I feel like I can't trust them.

T: You know, it sounds like maybe your emotions are giving you wrong information.

Me: ...............

I sounds like I'm talking to a parrot, and it sounds like my T thinks that repeating things back to me is the solution to the problem. It sounds like she thinks she's giving original insights. What's worse, my boyfriend does the same thing. I told him Thing A today that has Solution B but that I hate Solution B because it takes so much energy. And he told me right back, as though it were a unique and novel insight, you know, it sounds like you are doing Thing A and you know what might help? You could try Solution B.

I feel like I could totally substitute talking to both of them with recording my own voice and playing it back to myself. Is that seriously a therapeutic tactic?

I feel totally nuts and really frustrated. And I know it just sounds like I am being difficult. I can tell my T and my boyfriend the problem I am encountering, why I am encountering it, what should work to fix it and why that doesn't work. And then they parrot everything back to me sans the "why it doesn't work" and appear to be pleased with their aka MY assessment. Am I speaking in tongues?

Aug 22 2013 05:49 PM
Therapy is hard. It is frustrating. And sometimes, I feel worse after a session than I did before I went into that session. But, it does help with time.

I have been in therapy for almost 5 years. I have made progress, but sometimes it is hard for me to see my progress.

I don't know your therapist, but I know this. Sometimes, my therapist does repeat back to me the things I have said. Maybe not word for word, but at least paraphrasing. And I think it's because she is trying to get me to see the way I think in a different way than what I think. I have also learned that a lot of what I believe and do is based more on my emotions and feelings, then on simple facts. That is a hard pill for me to swallow, most likely because the ways I have learned to believe and feel are so ingrained in me, that it takes time.

I know how hard therapy is. I give you so much credit for going. 5 sessions is great. You are strong for going. It takes huge strength to start therapy and to stick with it. As hard as it is, it does help. But it just takes time. It is frustrating. It is painful. It doesn't always seem to work. Sometimes, it can make you feel worse. But over time, it helps.

I don't think you are speaking in tongues. I think your feelings about therapy are valid. I think if you can stick it out, you and your therapist will get to know each other enough that you will start to feel like you are getting some help through therapy. Building that relationship takes time.

Hang in there. You can do it. Just remember to always take gentle care of your self.

Thinking of you.
Well I tried 4 therapists until I found the right one... Maybe you need to consider changing yours if its not working. 5 sessions is a reasonable amount of time to be able to assess if the therapy she/he uses is right for you.
I too would feel frustrated if someone just repeated things back to me...
Therapy is hard. Five sessions should let you know if this is a good fit. All therapist are different. Each may have a degree in the same area, but approaches, theories, and treatment is variable. I went through several myself until I found one that I wanted to stick with for a long time. I then added other types of therapy treatments as an adjunct to my primary therapist. Eventually I outgrew my main therapist, and I now have a new therapist in just the last month and a half.

Therapy is so worth the effort. I've learned more about myself, life, and other people by being diligent in seeking treatment that worked for me. I would say scout around to see what it is you are looking for? Maybe you want someone more insightful, or compassionate, or knowledgeable, or maybe you want someone that is totally off the beaten path and has unique treatments. That being said, repetitive phrasing IS part of treatment at times. It is used to help you see/hear what you are saying from a different angle or source. It is NOT to be the only or main technique of the therapist. Is your therapist a trauma expert? I would search the web for comparison's of what the therapist is certified in...example those with EMDR, somatic experiencing, etc. have a broader or larger tool belt of interventions.

Take care, and keep persevering....I'm glad to know you can voice this doesn't feel like the "best" fit, and that you are keeping your options for possibly another therapist open.
I agree with the two previous comments that five sessions is enough to determine if you and your T will work well together. However, if you have not said to your T what you have said here then you might want to try that first. It can be hard to be that direct but if you find you can't be that direct with a T then you DO need someone else.

I wish you the best because just from your post title and the way you expressed yourself I'm sure you are a person with an interesting take on life.
Speak to your T. Maybe she is not a good fit for you and that is perfectly alright. But do yourself the favor of voicing these concerns to your T. Will it change anything? Maybe not but it is YOU speaking up and while I do not know you, I know for me OMG that would be such a huge step. To be able to say to a T.... what you just voiced..... that is taking care of yourself. Hang in there. Therapy is worth it.
Sorry. Couldn't do it. Thanks for the comments. It's nice to know someone's out there.

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