My Healing Process So Far...
After reviewing my many Posts on Pandy's, I've elected to submit most of my thoughts, ponderings and realisations on a Blog instead.
It's been 5 months since the assault - and I would like to open up the space I am taking on My Voice, for people who need it more. I'll still post occasionally, but my voice (see the irony? see what i did there ) will be, in here.
Also, a Blog is a good place to keep your own personal thoughts and feelings on a regular basis, and also keeps track of progress (or demise) in a somewhat uniformed fashion, making it much easier for revision and summary.
For my purposes only and for a sense of fulfillment I'd like to recount how far I have come since the assault.
Some things I thought I'd never do, but did:
* Get a Job again (Done )
* Keep my Flat (Done )
* Keep my Car (Done )
* Ask institutions for payment extensions (In Process)
* Have a Boyfriend and be intimate (Done )
* Get SOME Sanity back (Done )
* Leave my old horrible workplace and unhelpful 'friend' (Done )
* Cut ties with negative/unhelpful/unsupportive people (Done )
* Apply for Compensation (In Process)
* Start to LOVE Myself again (In Process)
* Have a normal routine (In Process)
* FEEL again! (In Process)
All of the above accomplishments are HUGE. I survived. And I am functional. Next step? Thriving!
- Okay, I'm not studying and I need to write to the Uni as to why I suddenly disappeared (but other things took priority - like me, and my mental health).
- Okay, I'm on anti-anxiety/dep. medication, but the scenario I endeaured was multi-layered and traumatic. There was relationship stress, personal stress, work stress, and inter-personal stress. It all seemed too hard, long and tumultuous. But I did it. I am here.
At the end of the year I am treating myself to a holiday to celebrate this success. My progress may not be tangiable, but it is the intagiable progress which is closest to my Heart, and Healing.
ABBY! I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!
You are so :
Love - Yourself