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good fences/defences/there is a fortress around me all the time

Posted by Zelda , 04 June 2014 · 173 views

I got a note left at my door from my upstairs condo neighbor. a hand written note on specially bought very nice note card stationary. Papyrus - my favorite.
There had been a spat  and  in the note he  apologized to me and hoped we can be amicable neighbors. I saw him after I got the card - was a bit off guard and just thanked him and left really quickly.  I couldn't possibly tell him that it meant the world to me and he would have no idea how this made me feel that i matter, that  I exist.  
but It doesn't take away his  thoughtfulness, we both know he was in the right though  he did go over the top, as he put it in the note - he "jumped down my throat".
At the time I was extremely shaken and constantly looking out for him in trying to avoid him. When I did bump into him I was politely standoffish - politely chilly , good fences - good neighbor kind of distance kind of thing.
Anyway, that is what happened.

Jun 04 2014 06:16 PM

It is great that he apologised to you when he was in the wrong, and your response sounds perfectly polite and on-the-mark. Glad he is the type of person who realises he should apologise when his response his outlandish and inappropriate, but wish you'd realise you exist and matter outside of these gestures, because you do. Take care, Z. Glad to see you around here.

It's nice when people can have moments like that.

nice to see you steeling - yes, it does seem to be a theme with me - not existing. not sure how to prove to myself i am worthy.


to nebula - thank you too and yeah he is pretty classy - most of the time. ha

I like high and good fences and being the elusive quiet neighbor yet I have had a neighbor jump down my throat for a problem that was clearly not mine.  It is frightening and creates a couple of nights checking the locks on doors and windows every hour or so.


But this neighbor never apologized so a larger berth is engaged when spotted in my eyesight.


Someone who actually apologizes may warrant an inch or so closer berth when spotted and a look in the mirror may say "I deserved the apology therefore I do exist and am worthy". 


But Zelda I have known that since when I first made your acquaintance.  It is good to see you here again as Stealing stated.

Thanks Bella - Its good to be able to be here and communicate with yall !

and yeah, high time i get some self esteem finally.



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