Good people don't do bad things
I always hated to story of King David. That man r*ped a woman! And then killed her husband to cover up the crime! Talk about a bad, bad man. And what does God say about this man? 'Hey, your heart is in the right place, you're a man to my heart!'. But now... Now it is somehow a story that helps me realize and believe that good people do bad things, also really bad things.
The man who abused me is that typically good man. A man who 'just wouldn't do something like that'. Just like David. You know what also struck me? David never apologized to Bathsheba. He never ever apologized to her. He apologized to God. He cried his eyes out when his son was dying, but he never told her he was sorry about it. He never asked her to forgive him. Still, he is a man to God's heart.
What that means for me? It means that even though he might never tell me he is sorry. That he might never admit that he did something wrong, but if he said sorry to God he is forgiven. It also means that even though I might not be ready yet to forgive him, he might already be in the place that he is a man to God's heart. I'm just glad I don't have to judge him. But no matter how hard and unfaire this seems to be - I do know that even though he might be a 'good man'. He is most certainly capable of doing bad things. Really bad things. Such bad things. And if someone doesn't believe me I'll just point to David. Thank you, Dave, for finally giving me something positive. Because I still think it was unfair and I still can't think of you too highly. But at least I start to understand.