Pandora's Aquarium: When asked:  Why didn't you fight harder - Pandora's Aquarium

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Donna Mae DePola - Guest Speaker Chat ...May 25th 2013 ... for more information please read this!

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When asked:  Why didn't you fight harder what do you say.  *T*

#91 User is offline   Buddhas_heart 

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Posted 18 February 2012 - 12:57 AM

I wish I had your gusto Steve even one hit would've made me feel better about myself. I feel guilt every day as of hitting him and giving him what we call our all, that I wouldn't be in this situation. But I didn't. I need to face the fact that I didn't because I was too terrified to move Id always assumed that that never happened in real life but it does. Here's to healing and the strength of a strong support system!

#92 User is offline   Roaring_Gryphon 

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Posted 18 November 2012 - 09:45 AM

No one's ever asked me this.

However, I've constantly demanded this of myself for the longest and here are the answers I give myself:

1. If I had done so the first time, the suffering I endured from the perps would have been far more severe

2. The first time made me feel undeserving or incapable of resisting the other times.

This post has been edited by Roaring_Gryphon: 18 November 2012 - 09:47 AM

#93 User is offline   TrishaTeo 

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Posted 29 November 2012 - 01:14 AM

No one ever asked me this question too...
For me, I was totally drunk and I didn't even have any chance at all...
But if I wasn't, honestly, I really don't know how I would have reacted...
So I think my answer would be "What do you know? Have you been through it?"

This post has been edited by TrishaTeo: 29 November 2012 - 01:18 AM

#94 User is offline   laurie1984 

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Posted 02 May 2013 - 08:40 AM

i think this is a question i asked myself. but they would get so violent when i fought back.

my wife made me feel better when i told her this was how i felt. she said 'laurie you could either do it or do it with a broken jaw. you did nothing wrong'

i love her :wub:/>

#95 User is offline   tinyrabbit 

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Posted 02 May 2013 - 09:14 AM

If I thought the person asking would listen, my full answer would be: I have spent most of my life in a state of learned helplessness. As a child, I learned to accept and tolerate whatever happened without question. Why didn't I leave my ex despite what he did to me for years and years? Because he said he would harm himself and it would be my fault. Because my childhood taught me I was worthless and shouldn't defend myself.

But the short answer is: don't you think I would have stopped it if I could have, if I knew how?

#96 User is offline   lucyjo 

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Posted 03 May 2013 - 09:29 AM

 tinyrabbit, on 02 May 2013 - 09:14 AM, said:

But the short answer is: don't you think I would have stopped it if I could have, if I knew how?


I totally agree tinyrabbit, I think that this is what some people don't seem to understand and this ignorance is what can make healing more difficult

Lucy x

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