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"Get Over It" A "responses" thread for "wonderful threads"
Posted 14 November 2009 - 02:32 AM
so many people who have said or thought of saying some awesome things to people who r inconsiderate and mean...
i just absolutely love it...
the comebacks that r of r just...
they make me laugh to think of it...
because i think jerkoffs who minimize and deny our pain deserve a nice comeback...
and now i feel sort of motivated to make fresh statements to those who make fresh statements to or about us survivors...
i love all of the comments that were made or thought about being made to mean people...
u all r awesome...
ps: here comes my :devil:/> streak... hahaha... to those who have no heart...
Posted 14 November 2010 - 10:04 PM
Posted 26 November 2010 - 09:17 PM
That my mother allowed him to click on "Send" --- see in my mind, she once again put the needs of her child(ren) after the husband --- caused me to completely shut down and I've had zero communication with my mother since then.
It was bad enough that my mother never knew ANY details about what she allowed to happen to me and my sister, but for her to allow him to speak about something he knew even less about, just sealed the coffin. It all but has nails in it.
I never had a comeback. Someday I will say what I have to say. Writing that letter has been the procrastination project of the century!!
Posted 13 December 2010 - 01:09 PM
My sister has done the same. They can't understand because they haven't lived it. I chose to no longer discuss it with my sister because it created a lot of emotions I didn't want to deal with.
Posted 13 December 2010 - 10:13 PM
If I was in a situation where I couldn't say that, I'd probably say, "when you've lived through what I've lived through, you may come back and ask me that again."<p>Amy
Cudoos to you!!!!!! It amazes me at the "gall" of people who think they have the right to express their opinion (without being asked) and "judge" us "survivors." Some people just have no compassion. I know we are to ignore these people, but sometimes it just isn't possible. :)/> :)/>
Posted 14 December 2010 - 08:38 AM
No, it's not bad, I think we all want to move on and each of us has our own idea of what that means.
Us wanting to move forward with healing isn't the same as a non-survivor/someone in denial telling us to "get over it". No-one should tell us how long recovery should take or what it should look like. No-one should minimise or invalidate what we're going through.
Posted 14 December 2010 - 12:41 PM
Posted 14 December 2010 - 12:45 PM
Posted 14 December 2010 - 12:50 PM
Posted 31 August 2011 - 02:29 PM
One more thought: I experienced a lot of non-SA abuse and neglect as a kid and while working through it in therapy my best friend would say things like, "that was so long ago" and "don't let it affect you so much, try to forget about it and move on". I always felt bad, 'cuz I knew her home life wasn't good either and she seemed to have "forgotten and moved on".
Right. Years have passed and she has kids now and I've seen her get overwhelmed and rage at them and I think to myself, "I wonder if she ever wonders where all that anger comes from"?
Three years ago I had my first CSA flashback and about a year ago the shit really hit the fan. I recently had to go back home for a funeral and be in the same room as my uncle (who is one of my abusers). Needless to say I was pretty anxious about it. When I got back and was telling my friend about it she said, "Oh Jo. That was so long ago. It's time to let it go. He can't hurt you anymore." When she said that last bit I involuntarily gagged and started sobbing wildly. She was shocked by my reaction (especially since I was driving and chatting happily a second before and suddenly I had to pull over and break down). I think it was the first time she ever saw how much pain I'm really in and how uncontrollable the fallout from this truly is.
The other thing? I think maybe it happened to her too. I think it happened to her and my talking about it is so uncomfortable for her she tries to shut me down. I love her dearly and I know she loves me. That is why I put up with her ignorance in the past, and now that I know more, it is why am trying to educate her and help her understand.
This post has been edited by BhaaDass: 31 August 2011 - 08:54 PM
Posted 31 August 2011 - 02:42 PM
Posted 29 November 2011 - 06:35 AM
Thank you for this. While having some CBT sessions My T made a comment that basically meant "put it behind you now, get over it". This confused me as I was beginning to think talking about it and getting it out was the answer (I dont talk to anyone) but had booked some counselling sessions to kick start my healing. I was wondering if I ought to cancel them but something was telling me it was the right way to go, this thread and the article have helped me realise I am going the right way. My T obviously has different coping mechanisms. Thank you for giving me confidence in my decision!