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So just been doing a lot of thinking tonight. I really am at the point of struggling to find out who I am as a person who I want to be..sounds funny but I've spent most of my life trying to be what every man in my life wanted me to be and now I just want to be me but I don't know who that is exactly. I know I still have a lot to deal with from the past and I'm really trying to work on it I am finding some days are harder than others but I just hope that I can figure this out and not feel so insecure with myself who I am as a person and worrying about what everyone else wants me to act like, look like, wear, and everything else. It's harder than I thought it would be I heard the word heal and thought wow is that even possible but if it was how great would that feel I just didn't anticipate the other feelings that would come up in the process I guess. I don't know just thinking like I said and unsure about a lot of things about myself...
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Figuring out who we are can take a lifetime, but knowing that you deserve to be respected for who you are is what love is all about. I know what it feels like to want to please everyone and the hardest part is to realize that is a very unachievable goal. I didn't realize this until one time I had this guy at a party ask me what was wrong with him and he could do better for the next time he was going to hit on somebody (awkward I know) and the answer came to me. It differs for every person. I couldn't tell him to be a better person because the next girl he met could have completely different expectations and that would get him no where. Its all about confidence and standing up for what you believe in and if someone really loves you he will respect those beliefs and grow with you. Because were all trying to figure out who we are, other people can influence our perceptions of ourselves but in the end, you got to believe in whats right for you. And those beliefs will be with you for a lifetime
oneloveohana,
01 June 2011 - 01:01 AM
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