Sometimes I wish had fought harder
So would it have been better if I had fought to the death of me? I fought enough, I told him no over and over again but he wouldn't stop and he hurt me so much but I could have fought more and perhaps if I had I wouldn't be stuck with this torturous pain and humiliation that I feel today.
I reach out for things I shouldn't because they either numb my feelings which are so overwhelming.
I reach out for these things because I want to feel like normal people and relate to those who I love and those who supposedly love me but when I feel it hurts so much I want to self destruct.
I hurt because the physical injuries can be tended to and it takes my mind off the real scars that no one sees, or perhaps they do but nobody tends to them properly....they either don't know or they don't care and think I should be over it because the subject is not socially acceptable.