homework first draft... trigger warning...
I am supposed to write a letter. I had my choice, either to my mother, or to the man who raped me. My therapist, Dr K, is trying to help me work on my anger. So, my letter is supposed to express some of my anger.
I am finding it really hard to do. I decided to write one to the man who raped me. But I can't get past the thought that he would not even listen to anything I had to say. He would laugh, if I ever said anything to him.
And there is also still that fear I have of him. I know he can't find me, but I don't know if I will ever lose that fear of him. I just imagine what would happen if he knew I was speaking out against him
Anyway, this is my first draft of the letter I am writing to him.
Fuck you, you fucking asshole. You are a sick, twisted bastard. I hate you. I wish you were dead.
So, there it is. I guess I will keep trying. I am just finding this very hard to do. So much emotion around it. And it's not all just the anger.
But the anger is there.