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Eergh...
such a moron. Going to loose my :heart:/> M if I don't "chill my beans" and stop worrying all the fucking time.
It's like because I missed out on so many years thanks to HIM I've regressed back to a child... I over react to the littlest thing, make all kinds of scenarios in my head until its something that it's really not...
NEED TO STOP.
But... not sure how to... and it's scaring me
IT'S SO FUCKING HARD
I'm all up for giving advise but don't know how to take it or listen to my own...
Got Therapy Thursday... at last, been fucking ages...
should really go twice a week, speed up the process before I potentially move away... and just need to get better before I loose everyone I love.
BUT I'M SCARED
HE'S still here... arond here somewhere, I'm scared he's hiding in the shadows and I'm going to bmp into him.
I'm scared for Wednesday... I shouldn't... It's just a place... But he lives near by... so very near by... so scared I'll see his face, those brown eyes, that grey hair... that boyish grin that now makes me feel cold inside... scared I'll see my abuser and I'll fall apart...
such a moron. Going to loose my :heart:/> M if I don't "chill my beans" and stop worrying all the fucking time.
It's like because I missed out on so many years thanks to HIM I've regressed back to a child... I over react to the littlest thing, make all kinds of scenarios in my head until its something that it's really not...
NEED TO STOP.
But... not sure how to... and it's scaring me
IT'S SO FUCKING HARD
I'm all up for giving advise but don't know how to take it or listen to my own...
Got Therapy Thursday... at last, been fucking ages...
should really go twice a week, speed up the process before I potentially move away... and just need to get better before I loose everyone I love.
BUT I'M SCARED
HE'S still here... arond here somewhere, I'm scared he's hiding in the shadows and I'm going to bmp into him.
I'm scared for Wednesday... I shouldn't... It's just a place... But he lives near by... so very near by... so scared I'll see his face, those brown eyes, that grey hair... that boyish grin that now makes me feel cold inside... scared I'll see my abuser and I'll fall apart...
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I'm scared...
on Aug 01 2011 01:05 PM
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