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I know.

Posted by Tree_of_Lyfe , 08 October 2013 · 88 views

I don't know what it's like to have cancer. I don't know what it's like to be dying because the cells in your body are literally mutating themselves and killing you. I don't know what it's like to be in the thick of battle in a war. I don't know what it's like to have someone that you love and care for die in your arms.

But I do know what it is like to wake up to the sound of an alarm and feel nothing but despair. To wake up and immediately want to go back to sleep because you don't want to face the day. I also know what its like to wake up and never want to sleep again because dreams are too scary. I know what it is like to feel the cold against your skin and know that you could freeze to death and really not give a damn about it. I know what it is like to want to have cancer just to have a legitimate reason to die. I know what it is like to want to be on the field of battle and be shot with the enemy bullet to die as a hero instead of doing it myself because I can't stand to be a burden any longer.

I know what it's like to be eight years old and terrified of someone that your mother left you with to trust. To tell your mother that you were touched by the 16 year old son of her friend that she trusted to leave you with and have her not believe you. To be punished with writing the definition of the word "LIE" out of the dictionary every day for months and to have a hatred of dictionaries years later.

I know what it's like to dig into yourself to bleed and then be told by a "family therapist" that you are just being a teenager and you need to stay with your mother even though she is using the money that is meant for you to go and buy herself cigarettes. To be told: you will grow out of being so sad all the time.

I know what it's like to have your heart hurt so much that you feel out of control. To feel the need to please others so they step all over you.

I know what its like to be kind to a total stranger and then be taken advantage of by him.

I know what it's like to be silent even though you are saying "no" "stop" "please stop" but then give in because you don't want to get hurt.

I know what it's like to fake a smile every day just to make sure you don't worry your parents.

I know what it's like to be alone.

I don't know a lot, but I know a lot about what I DO know...



You do know a lot and when you share it, you help others.
thank you :rolleyes:
You are strong .. and You do know alot.. I feel for you since what you shared, I feel the same with some of them .. I am here if you ever want to chat :)
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Tree_of_Lyfe
Oct 09 2013 10:55 AM
Thank you both. It means a lot. I really didn't think that anyone read these.

September 2014

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    I know.
    Tree_of_Lyfe - Oct 09 2013 10:55 AM
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    I know.
    dmohyde - Oct 09 2013 09:08 AM
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    I know.
    Lucille - Oct 08 2013 10:07 PM
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    Sleep..
    panda.xoxo - Oct 07 2013 10:38 PM

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