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It's occurred to me that I've avoided so many situations, not because I'm scared of history repeating itself, or of getting depressed per se, but because I'm scared stiff of what will happen after I get emotional. I've spent too long terrified that facing anything uncomfortable will set of my bipolar, and that once an episode's been initiated I'll be powerless to stop it snowballing.
I have had some terrible experiences in the past......
.......but....
.......I need to be realistic now....
Well, it all looks good on paper, 'all' I need now is to trust my insight, believe in myself, and if all else fails, to give myself a well-placed kick up the *rse!
I have had some terrible experiences in the past......
.......but....
.......I need to be realistic now....
- I am on meds - good meds, I have been for some time, and I've been stable for a good while.
- Realistically, I know that strong emotional reactions will only affect my bipolar if I am already unstable - I'm not just going to fall apart at the slightest thing - I know from my own records that there is no direct correlation between daily events and my bipo episodes.
- If I'm stable then I should be stronger, and more able to work through any emotions as they occur.
- I don't have to feel alone or frightened if an episode starts - I have backup now and I've discussed early warning signs with those who could offer support - my mum, T, GP, the crisis team, Pandy's - there is help out there and I don't have to suffer alone.
Well, it all looks good on paper, 'all' I need now is to trust my insight, believe in myself, and if all else fails, to give myself a well-placed kick up the *rse!
