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I have been referred to a specialist private clinic for assessment/management of medication. I found out today I have been allocated to a man who is probably fairly new out of psychiatry school. I didn't feel I could be choosy so didn't say anything. But I am worried about opening up.
What usually happens in these situations is that I present as very high functioning and together and manage to convince them that I am fine. I am NOT fine at the moment. Have been having real lows with Su thoughts and some dissociation.
I feel really anxious about going to the session on Wed morning and meeting new PDoc.
I have a therapist who I see several times a week. She would not give me an opinion about whether she thought the PDoc was a good idea - this is because she is a psychoanalysts and doesn't give me a straight answer on most things!!
Any thoughts or support would be welcome....

Source: Complicated process with my psychoanalytic T
HiddenPoet likes this

2 Comments On This Entry

Hey HiddenPoet,

You know, I can relate to this a lot! I have a really difficult time not being "on" in these kinds of situations. And I define being "on" as in "jazz hands!" happy. Sexual abuse tends to turn you into a pretty good actor, sadly. I've confused a few T's by booking appointments with them, and then turning up on the day presenting as seemingly just fine, and in fact, superb. Admitting to the real feelings inside is something I find really hard in face to face situations, unless I'm with somebody I trust a great deal.

You most definitely have my support. And my one thought about this, which is something that helped me when I finally found a T who was able to challenge the happy mask I put on a bit, although it is probably something you already do - write down the things you want to talk about, such as the lows you've been feeling, the SU thoughts and the dissociation. Give the note to your Pdoc - it's bit harder to get out of it and act as your totally "with it" self when the Pdoc has the evidence of what concerns brought you to that appointment.

Best of luck, I will be thinking of you.

Kate
Hello,
Just wanted to say, sometimes the "newbies" are better, as the info is fresh in their minds. I would just try to be honest with him, and remember you are there for YOU, not to impress anyone. I agree that it is a great idea to write down what you need to tell him before you go, this way any anxiety at the time will be overruled by your preparations. I am assuming it has been difficult for you to get your meds right as you mentioned you are at a special place. This means your need are high, and need to be taken care of. Just remember take care , take care, take care. There is a special card to give to docs (although not as necessary with a psychiatrist) that explains you have sexual abuse. Sometimes giving the card is a relief. But, most important is to write stuff down Always helps me a LOT :metoyou:
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