Pandora's Aquarium: My T says he wants to help me overcome the stigma of the word "r***" - Pandora's Aquarium

Jump to content

Donna Mae DePola - Guest Speaker Chat ...May 25th 2013 ... for more information please read this!

Welcome to Pandora's Aquarium, a rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivor message board and chat room.
If you've been a victim of any type of sexual violence, you belong here. What you see below represents just a fraction of the resources and survivor support available. Register now to join our community and take full advantage of what this online support group has to offer you as you heal and recover, or sign in to remove this message.

You are not alone, we can support you as you heal, and you've made an important step toward recovery by reaching out. If you are unable to register or have any questions, please contact the staff or view our home page.

Guest Message © 2013 DevFuse

My T says he wants to help me overcome the stigma of the word "r***"

05 March 2012
Posted by blondie2002 
This may :trigger:/>. In our last session, J noticed that I can't even say the word "r***" without feeling shame (eventhough it's been 5 yrs and I know now, that it's B's fault I'm the way I am today. :angry:/> J said in our next session we're going to practice saying the R word.

 
Back to blondie2002's Blog →

3 Comments On This Entry

just curious, have you asked him (assumption?) what you gain from this exercise? Does Rape NEED to be a part of your vocabulary or it stops you in life somehow? I understand that we need to be able to name what our assault is called esp if we are going to court etc. but I was wondering what the goal is here or if you have asked? we have a right to question their movtivations. if you know, then maybe you can tell us? thinking of you, be.

(btw, the word rape deserves a stigma as he says. ugh. Us being able to say the word doesn't end the "stigma" of rape. Stopping rape stops the "stigma" of rape. Is he saying that you are signatized now? ugh. this feels like a game to me.)
BeBold, 05 March 2012 - 03:41 AM
I tried to respond to this once already, and it didn't go through. Here's hoping it will work this time! :D

I actually think your T has a great point, Blondie. A "stigma" means: "A mark of disgrace associated with a particular circumstance, quality, or person". The word "raped" should evoke the same reaction as the word "mugged", yet it doesn't. Both are violent acts of one person upon another, but people who say they were mugged rarely feel shamed. For some reason in our society, we, including most survivors, have the ingrained reaction to the word "rape"that it is shameful and taboo. That is WRONG on every level.

The stigma does need to be lifted from the word. It needs to lose its shaming grip on our own minds as well as those of the wider world, and since we have a vested interest it must start with each of us. It's not a shameful word and we are not even remotely disgraced for having lived through violence. The "rape" stigma keeps victims quiet, keeps us feeling shamed and keeps us from shining a light on the true depth of the problem.

I'm such a strong proponent of taking de-stigmatizing the word "rape" I made this acrostic:

http://i13.photobuck...297264745-1.png

I also started an Empowerment Project series of posts from other writers on my blog every Monday to support this idea as well. Today's was very inspiring

I'd go into your T sessions with an open mind, Blondie. Maybe it really will help. Big hugs and lots of support your way. Good luck to both you and BeBold as well. If either of you (or anyone else reading this) ever cares to participate in my Empowerment Project, I'd love to share your inspiring words/photos/quotes with others as well. :hug:
Lunawriter, 05 March 2012 - 01:32 PM
thanks for your encouragement Lunawriter. I'm definately going to check out your link.
blondie2002, 09 March 2012 - 03:20 PM
Page 1 of 1

About my blog

This is basically my space to spill out everything I'm thinking and feeling.

Please note that some of the content here may be triggering.

What I write here is just me being honest with myself. Mostly just venting about things, realisations, and my path through healing.

There will be talk of CSA, SA, R, SI and ED here.

Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.