Help
"Don't hide from me. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You were innocent. No one protected you. I just want to wipe any feelings of shame away from you. It is inexcusable and unforgiveable."
And then he cried with me & for me.
Donna Mae DePola - Guest Speaker Chat ...May 25th 2013 ... for more information please read this!
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There is still plenty of time and spaces if you'd like to sign up for the Guest Speaker Chat scheduled for this Saturday!
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Kind Words What people have said that helps us heal
#17
Posted 11 February 2008 - 05:44 AM
Your not alone anymore, I'm always here for you to talk or listen if you need me
#18
Posted 23 February 2008 - 12:32 AM
windmill, on Aug 5 2007, 08:11 AM, said:
Just the fact that someone was angry for me. Wanted to smash his face in for what he did. That someone was actually angry for me....that I was worth that... That they keep repeating that I didn't deserve it and it wasn't my fault no matter what circumstances or reasons I gave that I thought it was.
I agree. I have someone in my life that is angry for me, and that's so comforting to know someone is angry because I'm not. I don't know why, but I'm not angry. I don't think I'm there yet.
Also, I read on someone's status that read "I am not what happened to me". That's so profound, and I think about that quote a lot. It really helps.
I've also been told I'm courageous. Not sure about that one, but it made me feel like I was stronger than I think I am.
#19
Posted 27 February 2008 - 09:01 PM
blooregardqkazoo, on Aug 4 2007, 09:07 PM, said:
"You are a gem among coal, DeLani" ~ my friend, Marie
I said something very simular to my friend. I said to her "You are a diamond among rocks. They just want to take away your beauty." - Danny. *me*
This post has been edited by BlueBoystears: 27 February 2008 - 09:04 PM
#20
Posted 29 February 2008 - 05:19 PM
My friends were all very mad at my dad once they found out. They were saying things like, "I hate him" and "I wish he was dead." I didn't like hearing that, because I was struggling with the issue of him being a loving father and an abuser at different times. He was still my dad, and no matter what he did, I couldn't hate him. My counselor said to me, "I don't hate him. I hate what he did to you." That was very helpful. She also said, "I don't wish he was dead. If there was no him, there would've been no you!"
A good friend promised she would never leave me. (and she didn't :D/> )
I liked it when people asked me questions, and didn't just pretend it didn't happen.
I liked it when people hugged me or held me (and especially when they asked if it was ok first)
A good friend promised she would never leave me. (and she didn't :D/> )
I liked it when people asked me questions, and didn't just pretend it didn't happen.
I liked it when people hugged me or held me (and especially when they asked if it was ok first)
#21
Posted 02 March 2008 - 05:27 PM
I believe the most helpful thing anyone has ever said to me is:
'I understand' or 'you're not alone'
'I understand' or 'you're not alone'
#22
Posted 04 March 2008 - 08:14 PM
Kind words:
My cousin (and only support in my family): "I`m so sorry that this (the abuse) happened. If I ever saw him I`d shoot the b*gger. I love you and I believe you. You have the strength to overcome this - I believe in you".
My friend at uni: He won`t come back, I promise you. If I ever saw him again I`d fell him. You have no need to feel ashamed - he`s the disgusting one".
My 3 fave words: "I BELIEVE YOU". :blush:/>
My cousin (and only support in my family): "I`m so sorry that this (the abuse) happened. If I ever saw him I`d shoot the b*gger. I love you and I believe you. You have the strength to overcome this - I believe in you".
My friend at uni: He won`t come back, I promise you. If I ever saw him again I`d fell him. You have no need to feel ashamed - he`s the disgusting one".
My 3 fave words: "I BELIEVE YOU". :blush:/>
#23
Posted 05 April 2008 - 05:42 AM
My personal favourite - "Are you okay?" If anyone sees that I'm upset and thinks that I'm worth bothering about...wow. It really makes my day
"There is nothing you could say that would make me think any less of you"
"Is there any chance I could track him down and kick his a**?"
"You don't have to tell me what's wrong, but I'm just letting you know that it would break my heart if you were to walk away from me in this much pain"
"There are so many people that love you. And we will always love you, no matter what"
"It's okay for you to cry, it doesn't make you weak to feel like a little kid. It feels like there's a little 11 year old girl inside of you, and there's nothing wrong with taking care of her cos she's scared too"
"I was r**** too, by my cousin, I know it can be hard. You're so brave for being able to tell me"
"Are you seriously okay after what happened today?" A text I got from a friend after having a panic attack at uni. I didn't tell him any details, but the fact that he talked to me afterwards, just to check I was alright :)/>
"Come talk to me. Please, I want to help you"
A text I got from a friend when I asked him what if, hypothetically, I were to tell him I'd been r*ped - "Not sure if there is much I could do other than detest them or run them down in my car if I ever see them." I cried after reading that, to think that someone would be so angry for me.
Any hugs, someone holding my hand, an arm around the shoulder, a pat on the back...after I tell people this, a lot of them are scared to touch me, but when they do comfort me...That's all I really need.
"There is nothing you could say that would make me think any less of you"
"Is there any chance I could track him down and kick his a**?"
"You don't have to tell me what's wrong, but I'm just letting you know that it would break my heart if you were to walk away from me in this much pain"
"There are so many people that love you. And we will always love you, no matter what"
"It's okay for you to cry, it doesn't make you weak to feel like a little kid. It feels like there's a little 11 year old girl inside of you, and there's nothing wrong with taking care of her cos she's scared too"
"I was r**** too, by my cousin, I know it can be hard. You're so brave for being able to tell me"
"Are you seriously okay after what happened today?" A text I got from a friend after having a panic attack at uni. I didn't tell him any details, but the fact that he talked to me afterwards, just to check I was alright :)/>
"Come talk to me. Please, I want to help you"
A text I got from a friend when I asked him what if, hypothetically, I were to tell him I'd been r*ped - "Not sure if there is much I could do other than detest them or run them down in my car if I ever see them." I cried after reading that, to think that someone would be so angry for me.
Any hugs, someone holding my hand, an arm around the shoulder, a pat on the back...after I tell people this, a lot of them are scared to touch me, but when they do comfort me...That's all I really need.
This post has been edited by shadow25: 14 June 2008 - 06:51 AM
#24
Posted 05 April 2008 - 07:17 PM
It's not your fault
You are a good person
He is an asshole
You did nothing wrong
We worry when you cut yourself, don't do it anymore
I love you but I don't like it when you cut, but I try to understand
Mummy, if I put some cream on your face will you feel better?
Mum, thank you for spending time with me today
Love you, see you in the morning
I love you sweetness, don't do anything silly
You are a good person
He is an asshole
You did nothing wrong
We worry when you cut yourself, don't do it anymore
I love you but I don't like it when you cut, but I try to understand
Mummy, if I put some cream on your face will you feel better?
Mum, thank you for spending time with me today
Love you, see you in the morning
I love you sweetness, don't do anything silly
#25
Posted 18 May 2008 - 12:07 AM
My best friend told me that she would totally understand if I killed my abuser, and she would stand by me if it came to that. She also said that she fantasizes telling him off and/or killing him herself. She has also said that at my funeral, if I haven't yet found the courage to expose him, that she would, loud and clear.
Another good friend has told me that I can call her anytime if I ever need to talk. And she means it. I think she knows how close I've come to going postal. She has also told me how much she admires me, what a wonderful person I am to her, and how much she values our friendship. Example: I was staying over at her house recently and she was explaining that she had a lot of computer equipment in her living room and to be careful. I assumed she was worried about me damaging her equipment, but she said, "I have have lots of equipment but only one Susan." Wow. She was worried about ME.
Another good friend has told me that I can call her anytime if I ever need to talk. And she means it. I think she knows how close I've come to going postal. She has also told me how much she admires me, what a wonderful person I am to her, and how much she values our friendship. Example: I was staying over at her house recently and she was explaining that she had a lot of computer equipment in her living room and to be careful. I assumed she was worried about me damaging her equipment, but she said, "I have have lots of equipment but only one Susan." Wow. She was worried about ME.
#26
Posted 05 June 2008 - 11:40 AM
Just having people tell me that they're here for me and that they love me is enough.
#27
Posted 01 July 2008 - 02:41 PM
I don't think this is the right thead for this, but I just wanted to Thank all you who sent me a Happy Birthday PM. It was very kind of you to think of me on my b-day. I think that it is great that there are people in this world that will think of a total stranger on their b-day and take the time out of their day to send someone something nice. It was a very happy moment for me to get an email from you. You are great people and I hope the best for you in the future.
I know that I have not been around here that much recently. I had a bad experience in the chat one night (a long time ago) and that is why I have not been around as much. I felt that I was unheard and under appreicated. I was there because I was feeling down and the people there were just too much into themselves to even talk to me about anything but how much worse that had it then me. I was not there for sorrow from them, but just an encouraging word, but all I got was them wanted me to feel sorry for them. I am not here to be sorry for anyone. I know what it is like to be hurt, but I don't feel sorry for myself. I feel that these experiences has changed me in a way that I can help others in there moment of weakness.
Anyway, when I got these PM's I noticed that there are others out there that are trying to live their lives as best as they can and spread joy to others and not sorrow.
Thank you all again for you happy wishes. They made my day even better. I think you all are great.
Gentle hugs and best of life to you all, Stay safe and keep smiling.
I know that I have not been around here that much recently. I had a bad experience in the chat one night (a long time ago) and that is why I have not been around as much. I felt that I was unheard and under appreicated. I was there because I was feeling down and the people there were just too much into themselves to even talk to me about anything but how much worse that had it then me. I was not there for sorrow from them, but just an encouraging word, but all I got was them wanted me to feel sorry for them. I am not here to be sorry for anyone. I know what it is like to be hurt, but I don't feel sorry for myself. I feel that these experiences has changed me in a way that I can help others in there moment of weakness.
Anyway, when I got these PM's I noticed that there are others out there that are trying to live their lives as best as they can and spread joy to others and not sorrow.
Thank you all again for you happy wishes. They made my day even better. I think you all are great.
Gentle hugs and best of life to you all, Stay safe and keep smiling.
#28
- Formerly known as Darkness
- Group: Member
- Posts: 471
- Joined: 11-May 08
Posted 01 July 2008 - 06:26 PM
D, you've done nothing to be ashamed of. The blame is all his. Your dad and I are behind you 100% no matter what you decide to do. I'm appauled anyone could treat you like that.
#29
Posted 05 August 2008 - 10:23 AM
I was told by someone I didn't know very well but told generally what I had been through. He stopped looked at me and said 'I just have to say this, you are an amazing person." It really didn't hit me until a few days later what that meant to me but at the time I was able to say "thank you", I actually accepted a compliment! I was just so astounded that even after knowing all the crazy crap I've been through, he thinks I'm amazing. I've never had anyone in my entire life tell me I was amazing.
I also have a very good friend that I know I can go talk to her any time or just sit and cry, anything I need and she would never think any differently of me. I've said some pretty crazy things to her and she's always been there and she continues to be. That's more then I could ask for with a person. It makes me feel safe, very safe.
I also have a very good friend that I know I can go talk to her any time or just sit and cry, anything I need and she would never think any differently of me. I've said some pretty crazy things to her and she's always been there and she continues to be. That's more then I could ask for with a person. It makes me feel safe, very safe.
#30
Posted 07 September 2008 - 06:47 PM
Probably my favorite: "You're having a normal reaction to an abnormal situation."
I also really appreciate it when I'm really down on myself and talking about what a horrid person I am, and someone points out to me the proof that it's not true. For example, if someone asks me, "if we were talking about someone other than you, would you be saying the same things?" Snaps me out of it, and reminds me of all the validating things I say to others, that I deserve to hear myself.
Must be nicer to myself.
I also really appreciate it when I'm really down on myself and talking about what a horrid person I am, and someone points out to me the proof that it's not true. For example, if someone asks me, "if we were talking about someone other than you, would you be saying the same things?" Snaps me out of it, and reminds me of all the validating things I say to others, that I deserve to hear myself.
Must be nicer to myself.
