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I remember staying at this farm when I was 5 years, my parents thought it wasn't safe to leave a 5 year old girl with her elder brothers so they decided instead it would be better at a relative home (boy were they ever wrong. On the farm, my uncle had a helper, I don't recall his name, nor do I care to know it. He decided all on his own that it would be a great idea for us to role play of what a mummy and daddy would do (and I mean everything....)I recall there were numerous occasions where I had sexual intercourse with this young man, some of which I remember telling him that I didn't want to do it and he insisted that I did, as an unhappy daddy would get very angry. To this day I can still remember the taste of his lips on mine and the smell of him.
I have never seen or heard of this young man ever again and I don't care too as I am afraid that I may do something that will just do no good.
The plot thickens from herein out, at the age of 7 I was again faced with the quandary of summer vacations once more and this time I was sent to another relatives home (boy I tell you, the decisions my parents thought were good!!!!)
This time, the abuser was my elder cousin, he made me perform oral sex on him and he did likewise to me, all the while my aunt and other cousins were in the other room and no one knew what was going on. Off course through out all this, I was instructed to never say a word....
After that, it was as though a veil was put across my memories and I had put everything to the back of my mind, waiting, just to be released at the right moment like a torpedo. My memories were dormant until I was approximately 12 years or so and like Celine Dions song "Its coming back to me now" I tell you did it ever come back to me. This is where it all went downhill from therein out.
Just imagine you awoke one morning and you have this memory that feels like one bad dream.....