Pandora's Aquarium: Parenting in an unsafe world - Pandora's Aquarium

Okay, so is everything that we do, how we live is it a reflection of our past? It would seem as though it is, and I am not saying that is bad necessarily because it made us stronger. We are better for it because we know real pain, I would think that one would be more compassionate, empathetic, and caring if they have went through the pain we have. So since our lives are affected by the past, and our past is traumatic and full of abuse, how do we know how to parent. I mean I know not what to do, I am doing the complete opposite of how my mother and father parented me. But how do we know that we are doing what is best for our children if we have no example, or bad examples?

As I said, I had decided way before I had children that they would not have the life that I did, that my sisters did. I was going to do everything right, and protect them by any means necessary, and I did. Here I am, 12 years later and I have three beautiful, healthy/ body and soul, intelligent, happy, and caring children. I made sure that I would always be in close proximity to where they were. I was a stay at home mother for the first year, and then got a job at a daycare and was my children's caregiver. After they were old enough to start school I got a job at the school, and was very involved with their teachers, their friends, and always knew where they were and what they were doing. When I lost my job recently at the school, and my daughter was about to start middle school, I pulled them out of school and started homeschooling them. Okay, this is where I get concerened; How much is too much when we live in the kind of world that we live in. When we know the kind of pain it can cause, and know the kind of sick b******s that live in it. How do I know when I am being too overprotective?

Where does the line start between being a concious, realistic, and protective parent and a paranoid parent, refusing to trust anyone with or around my child. I mean I could be a lot worse. My children have went to friends' house, but not often. I must meet the parents, and know as much as I can about them before I allow them to visit their friends house. My oldest daughter has spent the night at a friends house twice, and visited that same friend three times during the day, my son has spent the night once at a friends house, and spent the day with another friend, my other daughter has went to a friends house once. They have all stayed with my sister and her family, and a couple of times with my mother for a few hours. That is it, so I am not so bad that I never let them out of my sight. I trust my husband.

They are not allowed on the internet however, and I have not put them in any kind of clubs and such. I almost put my son in boy scouts, but I didn't want to risk there being any pedophiles, which after recent news stories, I no longer feel bad about. I will not have a babysitter, do not leave my kids anywhere unless absolutely necessary. I went to church for a time being, but stopped going because the child's teacher was male, and I couldn't trust him to be alone with my children. I still do not like the idea of them spending the night away from me, or letting them go to friends' house. So is this too much?

I have talked to them about if they ever feel uncomfortable about something that someone is doing, to tell them no, get away, and tell me everything. I have talked to them about bad touch, good touch. I have done everything that I could think of in order to keep them protected. But as they get older and want more independence, I worry that my overprotectiveness is going to get worse. I am scared that I am going to smother them, but I would rather smother them than them be hurt. I mean you truly do not know who is trustworthy these days, and I feel as though I am just being realistic.

No, it is not the best for my children to not have lots of outside friends, and not be associated with clubs and such, but if we are realistic, this is a horrible world. Life is not and probably will never be as good as it should be for anyone. My children are safe, loved, cared for, and happy. I educate them, I am 100% in charge of their education, and I know that I will do what is best for my children. When they are with me, I know that they are safe. I cannot say that if they are not, and this is a very unsafe world, full of evil, and sick people. I know that there are good people too, but one can not tell the difference anymore. I don't think that it is so bad, I feel as though outside my home, my property it is just danger. Am I being paranoid and irrational, or am I being realistic and refusing to put my head in the ground saying everything is okay out there when its not??

The statistics say it 1 in 4 girls (I believe) will be abused, and 1 in 6 boys. I have three children, so statistics don't look good. Human trafficking is getting worse and worse as time goes by. There are shootings everywhere now, drugs, and so many pedophiles. When I truly see the world for how I believe it is, I feel like I am doing what is best for them. But then I wonder, am I? Things will change as they get older, I know that I am going to have to gradually let go, but I know my children, and I will give them the freedom that I believe that they are mature and responsible enough to have, I will give them the freedom when I think that they are ready to have it. I am not going to let others decide when and what is best for my children.

I just don't want what happened to me to affect my children negatively, and I can't figure out how to tell if it is or not.