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Dreaming of freedom

Posted by Irishleo , 02 May 2013 · 183 views

I feel tormented, as if I will never be free of him. How do I release the little girl trapped inside of me from what he did? Am I crazy to fantasize about the adult me being able to burst into my childhood bedroom and attack him before he can hurt the child I was? Such pointless thoughts, and yet I have them often. I never imagine anyone else rescuing me because I know no one else ever would. I'm left alone to take all the blame and pain by myself.

The most recent flashback is extremely graphic so I won't write the details and risk triggering anyone. All I'll say is that what happened in it was so awful, and it just makes me cry thinking about it. I truly don't understand how some people can be so cruel, or so evil.

I just want to be free...

May 02 2013 11:40 PM
(((((Irish))))) (if ok)

You talk about saving yourself, have you ever written down from your little girl self how you would save yourself? I think it might be something that would empower the little girl inside you and help with the intensity of your flashbacks. I might be wrong, but isn't it worth a shot?

I am with you on how can people be so cruel and evil? It is beyond my thinking.

Sending you lots of caring and supporting hugs (again if ok) :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

Thinking about you!
Thank you waves :hug:

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