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Is it that I am so used to being on edge and tormented by the past that it's become a familiar and "safe" place? Or is it that I am afraid that there's more underneath, just waiting to come out?
And then again maybe I'm just over thinking it the way I always do with everything??
Well I'm trying hard to just let it be and let life come as it may! Not an easy thing to do when all you've ever known in life is that the minute you start to relax and try to be happy someone decides to beat reality into you. Trying to stop looking over my shoulder and waiting for the next man in my life to profess his love and affection and then have him shatter my hopes and dreams of actually being loved and wanted by a man for just who I am not what he can get out of me.
As I start over with a husband who loves me know matter what, and has proven it over and over, and 4 beautiful children and an absolute angel of a granddaughter, I'm learning.
Day by day I move closer to being able to BREATHE!
Thank you God for this wonderful feeling of peace and freedom from this darkness I've lived in for so long!
Thank you Pandys for giving me a place to find my voice for the first time ever!! :yahoo: