*tw* I truly hate myself
I really, really, really passionately hate myself. Sometimes, most of the time, I leave 'me' a dark empty shell unvisited, but oh, when you come crashing back and get stuck with me for any sliver of time. Empty, hateful, pointless and deluded. That's who I am.
So glad I took the time to stand in front of the mirror and truly look.
Aghast actually, that I'm inflicting this for over an hour a week on an innocent bystander unlucky enough to get me referred to him and worse still, that I had the gall to marry someone and bring this gangrene to his home. It's a good job I've isolated myself from as many humans as possible, preventing the spread of contamination.
Bile, phlegm, blood and black eye-hollows, that's what horrid little girls are made of, and oh the effort to turn thoughts to rosier hues.
I hate myself. So, obviously, did the guys who hurt me. How not to conclude that the ones that are nice aren't the fools?