I CAN'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE. I can't. My grades are slipping. They're easy enough to get back up but I can't find the motivation. Nothing matters anymore. I hate my dad. I hate him so much. I wish he would die. That sounds so awful, I know.
Today I had to leave Spanish and I just sat in the bathroom crying for like 20 minutes. Crying because no one loves me and no one cares and I'll never be normal. I had to yell at myself a bit. Tell myself self-pity will get me nowhere. I can't depend on anyone else, the only one who can get me out of this shit is me. I'm not strong enough to.
I HATE HIM. I HATE HIM. I HATE HIM. I HATE HIM. But I hate me more. I hate that I'm weak and that I SI and that I let it happen and that I can't be stronger.
The most stupid and self centered question I could ever ask, but yes, I need to ask it anyways: Why me? How come all my friends are happy and have normal families but I don't?
Ugh. I can't do any of this anymore.