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Breaking up with my best friend,

Posted by peachesb , 28 January 2013 · 15 views

Why do I call him that, besides having come to the conclusion that he was emotionally abusive and detrimental to my healing?

Because he has been my only friend for the past year and a half.

I don't know if it hurts because I will now be truly alone, except for my mother, or if it's because I will actually miss him. He's a great guy, and tries hard in his life. He is doing excellent in his career and seems to be going on a successful path.

However,

His communication style consists of 50% guilt trips, which he calls "his joking style."
A tiny example: I miss his call, he texts me a crying face. (Every time, regardless of me bringing up that I was bothered by it.)
A bigger example: I break up with him and he tells me he will be moving back to Mexico soon, since he has no other reason to stay here anymore.

It's not like I had no friends before that. I slowly drifted away from them, either because they were "not driven/focused enough, therefore useless to me" (his words) or because I simply had no time to keep up the relationships, or nothing to talk to them about anymore.

I find myself confused, wondering if I am doing the right thing.

He has been very motivating during our conversations. He has shown me that literally anyone can do anything they want, be anything they want to be. I suppose this is true for him.

He also sat with me through my disclosure of what happened. When I felt the worst. He told me I wasn't a bad person because of what happened to me. He was the first person I heard say this. It really hit me then.

I just have this loving feeling towards him that I can't shake off. I worry and feel sorry for him. I know he has been through a lot, his parents probably emotionally abused him as well. He said he has a memory of his dad beating him on the head with a stick, really hard. He's only brought it up once.

He also has evident, terrible memory which gets in the way of a lot of his daily activities. It is a problem.

On the other hand, I don't know if hanging on through things like this is what couples are supposed to do. Work problems out. Find a way to fix these issues. AM I THROWING THE BABY OUT WITH THE BATHWATER?!

So. Much. Confusion.

I just want to be okay. :tear:



I'm feeling like this with my boyfriend, your right that it is so confusing. I never know if I'm making excuses for him or if what we had has just come to an end. His mum gave me some good advice, she asked me if I see happy future with him or security from everything. She told me it's two different types of love and I deserved be happy. I just said I don't know.

Sitting with you.
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blackpersephone
Jan 28 2013 10:27 PM
Sounds like the timing may be bad. Let him go now and get the space. Time will tell you if you miss him. If not, he was just a strong friend at an important time in your life.

April 2014

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