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Confused.... :(

Posted by kjw9311 , 23 January 2012 · 45 views

This is probably the stupidest thing I've ever done in awhile...but...I've had such a rough past couple of days...

The guy that R'd me, wants to hang out tomorrow.

I agreed.

I'm not sure why...he said all he wanted to do was go shopping. I don't know why I believe him, but I do. Since my parents don't know what happened, and have never met him, they want his number and are letting me go. I of course, let them have it. I'm only allowed to be gone for a certain amount of time, and since he's picking me up at 4, I figure lots of people will just be getting off work, and I won't be alone.

I feel like the fact that I'm not scared to be with him, should worry me.

But it doesn't.

I need to go back to therapy, but I'm not allowed to drive by myself yet in this weather, so I might not even make it to her this week at all, which could be bad, depending on how tomorrow goes. ........Maybe I should just cancel, and stick to another night alone. :/

Any ideas, comments? I'm so confused on why I'm acting like this :(

Jan 24 2012 08:48 PM
I have done the same thing.. and for me it was a horrible idea.. i had so many flashbacks that it made my recovery 10 times harder. I personally am not scared of any of the guys that raped me.. i pitty them for not being able to be true men. i totally understand where your coming from on the parent issue. mine dont knw either.. i really hope you have some good friends to help you through this.. they really help.
Ahhhh I kinda do. One of them was raped herself...she's a friend of my best friend. I've actually lost 2 friends because of this. It makes me mad, that they won't even try and understand. But oh well.

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