Jump to content






Photo

So i messed up :/

Posted by Aurora325 , 24 May 2012 · 149 views

I went a whole year with out hurting myself again and Monday night I totally blew it. I have wanted to cut my lip again but I have always resisted. Well Monday I was driving back home from Milwaukee and a song came on on my ipod. It was I Hate Everything About you by Three Days Grace. I started thinking about Casey the man who sexually assaulted me and then I started thinking about the rape and I started to get pulled into the dark feelings. For some reason it just felt right and the next thing I knew I scratched the inside of my lips with my finger nails. At first I stopped myself but then song kept repeating and I started scratching more and more. I started bleeding everywhere and I couldn't stop. I put on the playlist that I have for whenever I get upset which I haven't used in months and I start shredding the inside of my lips and just digging my nails into the inside of my bottom lip trying to cause as much pain as possible. I did this for the full hour drive home and by the end my mouth, finger, and chin where covered/caked in blood. When I got home I cleaned off as best as I could and after walking through the front door I ran upstairs and washed everything off. I hate that I SIed again and my lip hurts so much. I can't even eat food or drink out of straw with out pain. The last few days my lips have been swollen and I keep tasting blood from the cuts getting reopen. I'm going to try not to SI anymore this was my one weak moment but surprisingly once it was done I was walking around relaxed and fine. It was just that I needed to let a little steam out and now everything is back to normal. I will just have to remember that next time I need to let a little steam out to not cut my lip.



Photo
theforgotten
May 24 2012 02:03 AM
I am very proud of how long you made it with out si. That is huge.

I am very proud of how long you made it with out si. That is huge.



Thank you very much. :] sadly now its broken lol

July 2016

S M T W T F S
     12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
242526272829 30
31      

Recent Entries

Recent Comments

Categories

Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.