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This morning same routine. Get up.. make breakfast.. get the husband off to work. My children off to school. Once everyone leaves it's like a horror movie. Checking windows, doors. I am going to buy a dog soon. I hate being alone. At the sametime I love it when I am alseep. My guilt of being so distant is gone when I am alone.
I posted on the forums to welcome other people. A poem I wrote at 1:30am Monday night. I think maybe trying to be supportive to others will relax me. Definately easier then talking about myself. Still have this silent screaming, "I can't" been that way since the beginning. The word beginning makes me so angry.
So here is to another day. In hopes that today maybe I can sleep without consequence.