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My feelings today...*tw* for SI/SU

Posted by dragonfly218 , 13 September 2013 · 129 views

I'm not feeling well today. It seems like I'm in this pit of depression and it's getting worse by the day. I don't feel comfortable talking to anyone else besides my therapist and I only see her once a week. She says I need to have more balance in my life and I agree. I'm still looking for a job, but I don't know who will hire me after not working for so long. Thoughts of hurting myself are more constant. Days like this I wish I had a different brain. The psych ward sounds comforting right now but I don't know if I need to go. I would never kill myself, simply because I don't know what happens when people die and I wouldn't want to leave everyone who cares about me...the thoughts are present though. I'm just in this mental anguish that no one around me seems to feel or understand. It's physically painful. Maybe this is because I haven't been taking my anti-depressant. I forget sometimes, but I ran out completely and I don't have any money right now to get it filled. It's been a month/month and a half. I normally have this undertone of sadness/depression even when I'm having fun and feeling some type of joy...this isn't like that. It's consuming me. I don't see my therapist until Wednesday, so I don't know what to do.

Sep 13 2013 03:47 PM
I'm really sorry you're feeling this way.
Maybe you could give your therapist a call? let her know how you're feeling?
But until then take care of yourself, watch your favourite films :blanket: , do exercise (it might not sound to appealing but its mentally good for you), go out somewhere that makes you feel calm/happy (I love going down to the beach and just watching the waves).

I hope this helps, try and stay positive! I know thats hard, really really hard, but take care of yourself. :metoyou:
Sep 13 2013 03:56 PM
Thanks, CountingStars :). You always have great things to say. I ended up staying in bed most of the day and took a nap with my dog. When I woke up, I felt better. Somedays are just like this I guess.
Sep 13 2013 04:29 PM
Haha thank you :)

Glad you took care of yourself. I also spent the day in bed with my cat and the occasional visit from my doggy's. I guess they are, days like this suck though, but we made it.

June 2015

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