Help
The first guy I ever had sex with took in my rapist and told me I was a lying brat an how could I do that. He later ended up telling me that my rapist had confessed to him and would my mother give them a ride to have the rapist turn himself in! The stupidity is alarming. I had a close friend who fell in love with the rapist a couple months before the rape that told me she didn't believe that he could do such a thing and wanted to hear exactly what happened. I think those two things broke my heart. I would never do anything to ruin someones name and to be told I was lying was like it was all happening again.
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"You're Lying" - Terrible Secondary Wound Can we discuss please? *T*
#92
Posted 18 February 2012 - 02:00 AM
Qmonkey, on 05 September 2006 - 03:28 PM, said:
my mother, who is a survivor herself didn't believe me when I told her about the CSA some years ago. Later I thought she believed me. Because she was attending survivor groups and all kinds of stuff. Then, about 2 years ago, I talked to her and realizzed that she still doesn't believe it. She demands to know *physical* details *puke!!!!!!* to prove it.
That was the moment when I decided I can't have a good relationship with her, ever.
Qm
That was the moment when I decided I can't have a good relationship with her, ever.
Qm
There are so many things that I thought only happened to me. But as I continue to read posts I realize that maybe few things were unique.
My mother was also a survivor. She did not believe me.
She told me *it did not happen and
*she would have known if it did, because of what she went through, so it didn't
happen
*if I really knew what it was like to be r****, I never would have said this.
*she wanted the details too and used them to refute my story (he didn't do that,
he doesn't like to do that)
She told social services I was lying and making a false report, that I was jealous of my stepfather. Sadly they believed her. With no evidence, it was hard to "prove". No evidence I was a liar either, but easier to believe that it was just teen angst.
It makes it really hard to tell folks what happened. I always expect that no one will believe me. I know in my head it's not true, but my heart is too afraid.
So sorry that so many people have been through this. It makes me sad.
#93
Posted 12 April 2012 - 09:47 PM
This is my first post here. I'm glad there's a place for us to talk openly and honestly about what has happened. I'm glad I'm not the only one who has endured many years of abuse. When I told my parents what happened, my mom told me it was my fault bc at 5yrs old I should have told her. 2 years ago I saw a pic of my molester holding a young child. Things spiraled out of control when I told my mom, who then called the parent of the small child. The mother told my mom that it wasn't me who was abused, it was MY BROTHER who abused my molester's SISTER! They told me that no one believes me and that I have the facts all wrong. This invalidation has really stayed with me. I feel like I will never be the same. Sometimes I question if he really did molest me for several years growing up. I know in my heart he did because I remember each and every graphic detail!
