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The Effects: How Did It Change My Life? an exercise from The Courage to Heal

#16 User is offline   auditorium 

  • Rock it to the end.
  • Group: Member
  • Posts: 596
  • Joined: 18-May 03

Posted 18 May 2003 - 09:04 PM

SELF ESTEEM

1. I feel dirty, like there's something wrong with me. all the time

2. Sometimes I think I'm crazy. sometimes

3. I feel ashamed. all the time

4. I'm different from other people.  all the time

5. I feel powerless. all the time

6. If people really knew me, they'd leave. never

7. I want to die. sometimes

8. I want to kill myself. sometimes

9. I hate myself. all the time

10. I have a hard time taking care of myself. all the time

11. I don't deserve to be happy. sometimes

12. I don't trust my intuition or my feelings. never

13. I'm often confused. sometimes

14. I don't know how to set goals and follow through on them. sometimes

15. I'm scared of success. sometimes

16. I'm a failure. I don't feel capable of doing a good job. sometimes

17. I use work to make up for empty feelings inside. never

18. I'm a perfectionist. never

19. I've made up a lot of stories about my life. sometimes

20. I've done a lot of shoplifting. ya

MY FEELINGS

1. I don't think feelings are very important. No

2. I usually don't know what I'm feeling. sometimes

3. I can't tell one feeling from another. Never

4. I only experience one or two emotions. no

5. I have a hard time expressing my feelings. no

6. I have a hard time crying freely. no

7. I cry all the time. all the time

8. I get uncomfortable when I feel too happy. ya

9. I get nervous when things are relaxed and calm. ya

10. I feel enraged a lot of the time. no

11. I'm rarely angry. Anger scares me. yes

12. I get depressed a lot. yes

13. I have a lot of nightmares. yes

14. I have panic attacks. yes

15. If I really let myself go, my feelings would be out of control. yes

16. I've been violent. no

17. I haven't been violent yet, but I'm worried I might be. no

MY BODY

1. I'm not "in my body" a lot of the time. true

2. I frequently space out. yes

3. My body often feels numb. yes

4. I feel as if my body is separate from the rest of me.
yes
5. I don't pay too much attention to my body's signals (hunger, tiredness, pain). yes

6. I think my body is ugly.
yes
7. I hide my body. yes

8. I'm dyslexic. I had learning disabilities when I was growing up. no

9. I use drugs or alcohol more than I think I should. yes

10. I often eat compulsively. yes

11. I keep myself from eating, or eat and throw up. sometimes

12. I hurt myself on purpose (cut, burn or injure myself)
sometimes
13. I have illnesses I think are related to my abuse. no

14. I've worked out to make my body strong so I wouldn't feel like a victim. no

15. I've had flashbacks of the abuse during surgery or other medical procedures. no

16. I'm scared to go to the dentist. I hate the feeling of things in my mouth. yes

17. (For women) I'm scared to go to the gynecologist. yes

INTIMACY

1. I often feel alienated from other people, as if I'm from another planet. yes

2. Most of my relationships just don't work. yes

3. I don't have many friends. true

4. I'm okay with my friends, but I just can't work things out with a lover. no

5. I think I'm really meant to be alone. yes

6. I'm not sure I deserve to be loved. yes

7. I don't know what love is. no

8. I find it hard to trust people. yes

9. I think people are going to leave me. yes

10. I test people a lot. yes

11. It's hard for me to be nurtured or to nurture someone else. yes

12. I'm clingy with people I'm close to. I'm afraid to be alone. yes

13. I'm scared of making commitment. When people get too close, I panic. yes

14. I have a hard time saying no. no

15. People take advantage of me in relationships. yes

16. I get involved with people who are inappropriate or inaccessible. yes

17. I've had relationships with people who remind me of my abuser. yes

18. I'm struggling a lot with my partner. no

19. Sometimes I think my partner is my abuser. no

20. Sexual abuse is really creating problems in my relationship. no

SEXUALITY

1. I avoid sex. Deep down, I wish I never had to deal with sex again. yes

2. I am celibate. I haven't had sex in years.

3. I really think sex is disgusting. no

4. I don't feel sexual desire. I think there's something basically wrong with it. yes

5. Sex isn't pleasurable for me. I usually have sex to make the other person happy. yes

6. I try to use sex to meet most of my needs. no

7. It really feels like I'm "oversexed" no

8. Sex and aggression are really connected for me. no

9. I find it hard to be close in nonsexual ways. It just isn't satisfying. no

10. I frequently go after sex I really don't want. no

11. Sex is the thing I'm best at. no

12. I've sold myself for sex. no

13. I've had sex with people who don't respect me. no

14. I need to control everything about sex. no

15. I have a hard time staying present when I make love. I'm numb a lot during lovemaking. yes

16. When I am sexual, I have terrifying, scary feelings I don't understand.
yes
17. I often have flashbacks of my abuse while making love.
yes
18. I get sexually aroused when I read or talk about sexual abuse. no

19. Violent, sadistic fantasies turn me on. no

20. I'm ashamed of my sexuality. no

21. I've sexually abused others. no

CHILDREN AND PARENTING

1. I feel awkward and uncomfortable around children. no

2. I have a hard time being affectionate with kids.

3. I have a hard time setting boundaries with kids.

4. I have a hard time balancing children's needs with my own.

5. (For parents) I feel inadequate as a parent.

6. I have trouble protecting children I take care of.

7. I tend to be overprotective.

8. I've successfully protected children.

9. I'm scared I'll be abusive.

10. I have abused children.

11. My kids have been abused (by someone else).

MY FAMILY OF ORIGIN

1. I have strained relationships with my family. yes

2. Members of my family have rejected me (or vice versa)no

3. I have a hard time setting limits with my family. yes

4. People in my family invalidate my feelings and experiences. no

5. I feel crazy when I'm around my family. yes

6. I can't be honest with the people in my family. yes

7. My abuse is still a secret in my family. no

8. I'm waiting for people in my family to come around and support me. no

If many of the statements on this list were familiar to you, you may feel overwhelmed right now. Put the purpose of this assessment is not to overwhelm you; it's to show you that there's a reason why you experience the things you do. It's to point out the areas that need healing. It is possible to dramatically alter your life so that your answers two years from now will bear little resemblance to your answers today.

1. When I look over my responses, I feel... scared
anyone who can help please email me

#17 User is offline   Lis 

  • ex-patriot
  • Group: Member
  • Posts: 3,645
  • Joined: 12-April 01

Posted 17 May 2001 - 09:08 PM

Hi everyone,
  Here is another exercise from <a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0060964375/o/qid%3D989471318/sr%3D8-1/ref%3Daps%5Fsr%5Fb%5F1%5F1/002-4054049-8392020">The Courage to Heal Workbook</a> by Laura Davis. This exercise is called "Assessing the Damage" and helps you identify the ways the abuse has affected your life. If you don't want to fill it out in a post to the board, I have created a <a href="http://www.escapinghades.com/tcth.html" target="_blank">printer friendly page</a>, so that you can fill it out by hand if you want. Please be safe when doing exercises like these, because they can be triggering.

Lis

--------
ASSESSING THE DAMAGE

The statements listed below are typical of the experiences and feelings of survivors of abuse. Since abuse affects people in different ways, some of the statements will apply to you and others won't. Looking at your answers can show you the areas of your life that have been most strongly influenced by the abuse.

If you've been working on these issues for some time, you can use this assessment to identify the progress you've made. Statements you would have identified with in the past may seem irrelevant to you today. A sentence you would have ranked "usually" a year or two ago may now get a "rarely" rating. If you've been healing for a while, try to focus on the areas in which you've made gains. Let yourself feel proud of the ways your answers have changed. Then go back through your answers and take a look at the areas that still need healing at attention.

Read each sentence and indicate how frequently you have experienced or feel that way (Always, Usually, Sometimes, Rarely, Never).

SELF ESTEEM

1. I feel dirty, like there's something wrong with me.

2. Sometimes I think I'm crazy.

3. I feel ashamed.

4. I'm different from other people.

5. I feel powerless.

6. If people really knew me, they'd leave.

7. I want to die.

8. I want to kill myself.

9. I hate myself.

10. I have a hard time taking care of myself.

11. I don't deserve to be happy.

12. I don't trust my intuition or my feelings.

13. I'm often confused.

14. I don't know how to set goals and follow through on them.

15. I'm scared of success.

16. I'm a failure. I don't feel capable of doing a good job.

17. I use work to make up for empty feelings inside.

18. I'm a perfectionist.

19. I've made up a lot of stories about my life.

20. I've done a lot of shoplifting.

MY FEELINGS

1. I don't think feelings are very important.

2. I usually don't know what I'm feeling.

3. I can't tell one feeling from another.

4. I only experience one or two emotions.

5. I have a hard time expressing my feelings.

6. I have a hard time crying freely.

7. I cry all the time.

8. I get uncomfortable when I feel too happy.

9. I get nervous when things are relaxed and calm.

10. I feel enraged a lot of the time.

11. I'm rarely angry. Anger scares me.

12. I get depressed a lot.

13. I have a lot of nightmares.

14. I have panic attacks.

15. If I really let myself go, my feelings would be out of control.

16. I've been violent.

17. I haven't been violent yet, but I'm worried I might be.

MY BODY

1. I'm not "in my body" a lot of the time.

2. I frequently space out.

3. My body often feels numb.

4. I feel as if my body is separate from the rest of me.

5. I don't pay too much attention to my body's signals (hunger, tiredness, pain).

6. I think my body is ugly.

7. I hide my body.

8. I'm dyslexic. I had learning disabilities when I was growing up.

9. I use drugs or alcohol more than I think I should.

10. I often eat compulsively.

11. I keep myself from eating, or eat and throw up.

12. I hurt myself on purpose (cut, burn or injure myself)

13. I have illnesses I think are related to my abuse.

14. I've worked out to make my body strong so I wouldn't feel like a victim.

15. I've had flashbacks of the abuse during surgery or other medical procedures.

16. I'm scared to go to the dentist. I hate the feeling of things in my mouth.

17. (For women) I'm scared to go to the gynecologist.

INTIMACY

1. I often feel alienated from other people, as if I'm from another planet.

2. Most of my relationships just don't work.

3. I don't have many friends.

4. I'm okay with my friends, but I just can't work things out with a lover.

5. I think I'm really meant to be alone.

6. I'm not sure I deserve to be loved.

7. I don't know what love is.

8. I find it hard to trust people.

9. I think people are going to leave me.

10. I test people a lot.

11. It's hard for me to be nurtured or to nurture someone else.

12. I'm clingy with people I'm close to. I'm afraid to be alone.

13. I'm scared of making commitment. When people get too close, I panic.

14. I have a hard time saying no.

15. People take advantage of me in relationships.

16. I get involved with people who are inappropriate or inaccessible.

17. I've had relationships with people who remind me of my abuser.

18. I'm struggling a lot with my partner.

19. Sometimes I think my partner is my abuser.

20. Sexual abuse is really creating problems in my relationship.

SEXUALITY

1. I avoid sex. Deep down, I wish I never had to deal with sex again.

2. I am celibate. I haven't had sex in years.

3. I really think sex is disgusting.

4. I don't feel sexual desire. I think there's something basically wrong with it.

5. Sex isn't pleasurable for me. I usually have sex to make the other person happy.

6. I try to use sex to meet most of my needs.

7. It really feels like I'm "oversexed"

8. Sex and aggression are really connected for me.

9. I find it hard to be close in nonsexual ways. It just isn't satisfying.

10. I frequently go after sex I really don't want.

11. Sex is the thing I'm best at.

12. I've sold myself for sex.

13. I've had sex with people who don't respect me.

14. I need to control everything about sex.

15. I have a hard time staying present when I make love. I'm numb a lot during lovemaking.

16. When I am sexual, I have terrifying, scary feelings I don't understand.

17. I often have flashbacks of my abuse while making love.

18. I get sexually aroused when I read or talk about sexual abuse.

19. Violent, sadistic fantasies turn me on.

20. I'm ashamed of my sexuality.

21. I've sexually abused others.

CHILDREN AND PARENTING

1. I feel awkward and uncomfortable around children.

2. I have a hard time being affectionate with kids.

3. I have a hard time setting boundaries with kids.

4. I have a hard time balancing children's needs with my own.

5. (For parents) I feel inadequate as a parent.

6. I have trouble protecting children I take care of.

7. I tend to be overprotective.

8. I've successfully protected children.

9. I'm scared I'll be abusive.

10. I have abused children.

11. My kids have been abused (by someone else).

MY FAMILY OF ORIGIN

1. I have strained relationships with my family.

2. Members of my family have rejected me (or vice versa)

3. I have a hard time setting limits with my family.

4. People in my family invalidate my feelings and experiences.

5. I feel crazy when I'm around my family.

6. I can't be honest with the people in my family.

7. My abuse is still a secret in my family.

8. I'm waiting for people in my family to come around and support me.

If many of the statements on this list were familiar to you, you may feel overwhelmed right now. Put the purpose of this assessment is not to overwhelm you; it's to show you that there's a reason why you experience the things you do. It's to point out the areas that need healing. It is possible to dramatically alter your life so that your answers two years from now will bear little resemblance to your answers today.

1. When I look over my responses, I feel...

2. I've been most strongly affected in the areas of...

3. I was least affected in the areas of...

4. The hardest statements for me to acknowledge were...

5. I feel the most hopeful about making changes in...

6. I already made major strides in the following areas...

7. I feel the most hopeless about changing...

8. I was surprised by...

9. I learned...


#18 Guest__*

  • Group: Guests

Posted 18 May 2001 - 01:41 PM

Thanks Lis for posting this. It reminded me how far I have come.

A year ago I had major problems in ALL of the areas. Now, with a lot of work and a lot of support from Pat (bless you my darling xxx) I feel I've made great progress in sexuality, self-esteem, feelings, family and children. Now I just have to keep working on my body image, and some more work on my self-esteem. But it's good to remember how far I've come, and to pat myself on the back!

Bright Blessings to all,

#19 Guest__*

  • Group: Guests

Posted 19 May 2001 - 12:21 PM

I printed this out and will read thru it and answer them here at home...I'm interested to see "how I am"...how I am really handeling things...

Thanks...I think to I will get the book...I've heard good things about it...

#20 Guest__*

  • Group: Guests

Posted 20 May 2001 - 10:18 AM

SELF ESTEEM
1. I feel dirty, like there's something wrong with me. sometimes
2. Sometimes I think I'm crazy. usually
3. I feel ashamed. sometimes
4. I'm different from other people. always
5. I feel powerless. rarely
6. If people really knew me, they'd leave. rarely
7. I want to die. sometimes
8. I want to kill myself. sometimes
9. I hate myself. sometimes
10. I have a hard time taking care of myself. sometimes
11. I don't deserve to be happy. rarely
12. I don't trust my intuition or my feelings. rarely
13. I'm often confused. sometimes
14. I don't know how to set goals and follow through on them. never
15. I'm scared of success. never
16. I'm a failure. I don't feel capable of doing a good job. sometimes
17. I use work to make up for empty feelings inside. sometimes
18. I'm a perfectionist. always
19. I've made up a lot of stories about my life. rarely
20. I've done a lot of shoplifting. never

MY FEELINGS
1. I don't think feelings are very important. rarely
2. I usually don't know what I'm feeling. rarely
3. I can't tell one feeling from another. rarely
4. I only experience one or two emotions. rarely
5. I have a hard time expressing my feelings. rarely
6. I have a hard time crying freely. sometimes
7. I cry all the time. sometimes
8. I get uncomfortable when I feel too happy. rarely
9. I get nervous when things are relaxed and calm. rarely
10. I feel enraged a lot of the time. never
11. I'm rarely angry. Anger scares me. usually
12. I get depressed a lot. usually
13. I have a lot of nightmares. sometimes
14. I have panic attacks. rarely
15. If I really let myself go, my feelings would be out of control. never
16. I've been violent. never
17. I haven't been violent yet, but I'm worried I might be. never

MY BODY
1. I'm not "in my body" a lot of the time. rarely
2. I frequently space out. sometimes
3. My body often feels numb. sometimes
4. I feel as if my body is separate from the rest of me. often
5. I don't pay too much attention to my body's signals (hunger, tiredness, pain). often
6. I think my body is ugly. often
7. I hide my body. often
8. I'm dyslexic. I had learning disabilities when I was growing up. never
9. I use drugs or alcohol more than I think I should. rarely
10. I often eat compulsively. rarely
11. I keep myself from eating, or eat and throw up. sometimes
12. I hurt myself on purpose (cut, burn or injure myself) rarely
13. I have illnesses I think are related to my abuse. rarely
14. I've worked out to make my body strong so I wouldn't feel like a victim. rarely
15. I've had flashbacks of the abuse during surgery or other medical procedures. sometimes
16. I'm scared to go to the dentist. I hate the feeling of things in my mouth. sometimes
17. (For women) I'm scared to go to the gynecologist. always

INTIMACY
1. I often feel alienated from other people, as if I'm from another planet. sometimes
2. Most of my relationships just don't work. rarely
3. I don't have many friends. rarely
4. I'm okay with my friends, but I just can't work things out with a lover. always
5. I think I'm really meant to be alone. sometimes
6. I'm not sure I deserve to be loved. rarely
7. I don't know what love is. sometimes
8. I find it hard to trust people. usually
9. I think people are going to leave me. rarely
10. I test people a lot. sometimes
11. It's hard for me to be nurtured or to nurture someone else. usually
12. I'm clingy with people I'm close to. I'm afraid to be alone. rarely
13. I'm scared of making commitment. When people get too close, I panic. sometimes
14. I have a hard time saying no. sometimes
15. People take advantage of me in relationships. rarely
16. I get involved with people who are inappropriate or inaccessible. sometimes
17. I've had relationships with people who remind me of my abuser. sometimes
18. I'm struggling a lot with my partner. sometimes
19. Sometimes I think my partner is my abuser. sometimes
20. Sexual abuse is really creating problems in my relationship. sometimes

SEXUALITY
1. I avoid sex. Deep down, I wish I never had to deal with sex again. always
2. I am celibate. I haven't had sex in years. sometimes
3. I really think sex is disgusting. sometimes
4. I don't feel sexual desire. I think there's something basically wrong with it. rarely
5. Sex isn't pleasurable for me. I usually have sex to make the other person happy. I used to.
6. I try to use sex to meet most of my needs. rarely
7. It really feels like I'm "oversexed." sometimes
8. Sex and aggression are really connected for me. sometimes
9. I find it hard to be close in nonsexual ways. It just isn't satisfying. rarely
10. I frequently go after sex I really don't want. rarely
11. Sex is the thing I'm best at. hahsakjhdkjhas
12. I've sold myself for sex. never
13. I've had sex with people who don't respect me. sometimes
14. I need to control everything about sex. sometimes
15. I have a hard time staying present when I make love. I'm numb a lot during lovemaking. usually
16. When I am sexual, I have terrifying, scary feelings I don't understand. sometimes
17. I often have flashbacks of my abuse while making love. sometimes
18. I get sexually aroused when I read or talk about sexual abuse. never
19. Violent, sadistic fantasies turn me on. never
20. I'm ashamed of my sexuality. rarely
21. I've sexually abused others. never

CHILDREN AND PARENTING
1. I feel awkward and uncomfortable around children. never
2. I have a hard time being affectionate with kids. never
3. I have a hard time setting boundaries with kids. never
4. I have a hard time balancing children's needs with my own. never
5. (For parents) I feel inadequate as a parent. na
6. I have trouble protecting children I take care of. never
7. I tend to be overprotective. sometimes
8. I've successfully protected children. yes, once
9. I'm scared I'll be abusive. never
10. I have abused children. never
11. My kids have been abused (by someone else). n/a

MY FAMILY OF ORIGIN
1. I have strained relationships with my family. sometimes
2. Members of my family have rejected me (or vice versa). sometimes
3. I have a hard time setting limits with my family. never
4. People in my family invalidate my feelings and experiences. sometimes
5. I feel crazy when I'm around my family. sometimes
6. I can't be honest with the people in my family. usually
7. My abuse is still a secret in my family. nope.
8. I'm waiting for people in my family to come around and support me. sometimes

---
1. When I look over my responses, I feel...
like i have come a long way. I wish I had done this exercise two years ago to compare the answers. I have done a lot of healing in terms of my relationships with other people and my emotions. I can see where I am working right now: my body, my sexuality, my family.

2. I've been most strongly affected in the areas of...
all these areas have been affected. probably emotions and self-esteem the most

3. I was least affected in the areas of...
children and parenting.

4. The hardest statements for me to acknowledge were...
sexuality. self-esteem. i dont like to feel or come across like i have failed, or am not 100% strong, so acknowledging these things to myself is hard, but actually posting them where others can see them is even harder.

5. I feel the most hopeful about making changes in...
my body. i am working at staying "present" more, taking care of my body again, or at least not hating it. i am feeling better already.

6. I already made major strides in the following areas...
my feelings. i actually feel emotions again, and they feel under control. depression is lessened, i can feel happy again. anger is still hard, but it is better. i was doing an evaluation with my boss this year and she said she has seen me become a very emotive person over the last two years, once who can express her emotion in a controlled and effective manner. I agree with her. I have come far in that area.

7. I feel the most hopeless about changing...
sexuality. ugh.

8. I was surprised by...
doing this exercise in the first place, and deciding i can post it, even if it might make me vulnerable (i hate that fact that family/friends could read this cause they know about my site). i guess i dont care.

9. I learned...
that i have come a long way. that i am working in the right areas.

thanks Lis
Shannon

#21 Guest__*

  • Group: Guests

Posted 22 June 2001 - 02:27 AM

Well. I wasnt readdy to do this one befor, so I will give it a try...

SELF ESTEEM
1. I feel dirty, like there's something wrong with me. sometimes

2. Sometimes I think I'm crazy. sometimes

3. I feel ashamed. sometimes

4. I'm different from other people. I dont know...

5. I feel powerless. Sometimes

6. If people really knew me, they'd leave. never

7. I want to die. not anymore

8. I want to kill myself. not anymore

9. I hate myself. not anymore

10. I have a hard time taking care of myself. never

11. I don't deserve to be happy. sometimes

12. I don't trust my intuition or my feelings. Sometimes

13. I'm often confused. Sometimes

14. I don't know how to set goals and follow through on them. sometimes

15. I'm scared of success. never

16. I'm a failure. I don't feel capable of doing a good job. never

17. I use work to make up for empty feelings inside. never

18. I'm a perfectionist. always

19. I've made up a lot of stories about my life. Never

20. I've done a lot of shoplifting. Rarely

MY FEELINGS

1. I don't think feelings are very important.  never

2. I usually don't know what I'm feeling.  never

3. I can't tell one feeling from another. Rarely

4. I only experience one or two emotions. nope

5. I have a hard time expressing my feelings. nope

6. I have a hard time crying freely. sometimes

7. I cry all the time. sometimes

8. I get uncomfortable when I feel too happy. Usually

9. I get nervous when things are relaxed and calm. sometimes

10. I feel enraged a lot of the time. Sometimes

11. I'm rarely angry. Anger scares me. usually

12. I get depressed a lot. in waves..sometimes yes, and other times no

13. I have a lot of nightmares. sometimes

14. I have panic attacks. rarely

15. If I really let myself go, my feelings would be out of control. never

16. I've been violent. never

17. I haven't been violent yet, but I'm worried I might be. never

MY BODY

1. I'm not "in my body" a lot of the time. sometimes

2. I frequently space out. sometimes

3. My body often feels numb. not as much any more

4. I feel as if my body is separate from the rest of me. not any more

5. I don't pay too much attention to my body's signals (hunger, tiredness, pain). a lot

6. I think my body is ugly. depends on my mood

7. I hide my body. depends on my mood

8. I'm dyslexic. I had learning disabilities when I was growing up. yepp

9. I use drugs or alcohol more than I think I should. never

10. I often eat compulsively. Never

11. I keep myself from eating, or eat and throw up. never

12. I hurt myself on purpose (cut, burn or injure myself) used to, but not any more, so: never

13. I have illnesses I think are related to my abuse. sometimes

14. I've worked out to make my body strong so I wouldn't feel like a victim. never

15. I've had flashbacks of the abuse during surgery or other medical procedures. Always

16. I'm scared to go to the dentist. I hate the feeling of things in my mouth. Always

17. (For women) I'm scared to go to the gynecologist. always

INTIMACY

1. I often feel alienated from other people, as if I'm from another planet. never

2. Most of my relationships just don't work. usually

3. I don't have many friends. never

4. I'm okay with my friends, but I just can't work things out with a lover. Usually

5. I think I'm really meant to be alone. sometimes

6. I'm not sure I deserve to be loved. Always

7. I don't know what love is. I dont know

8. I find it hard to trust people. Always

9. I think people are going to leave me. Always

10. I test people a lot. never

11. It's hard for me to be nurtured or to nurture someone else. never

12. I'm clingy with people I'm close to. I'm afraid to be alone. Always

13. I'm scared of making commitment. When people get too close, I panic. never

14. I have a hard time saying no. Always

15. People take advantage of me in relationships. Usually

16. I get involved with people who are inappropriate or inaccessible. I need a dictionary for this one...

17. I've had relationships with people who remind me of my abuser. never

18. I'm struggling a lot with my partner. usually

19. Sometimes I think my partner is my abuser. Never

20. Sexual abuse is really creating problems in my relationship. sometimes

SEXUALITY

1. I avoid sex. Deep down, I wish I never had to deal with sex again. Always

2. I am celibate. never

3. I really think sex is disgusting. sometimes

4. I don't feel sexual desire. I think there's something basically wrong with it. Always

5. Sex isn't pleasurable for me. I usually have sex to make the other person happy. most of the time

6. I try to use sex to meet most of my needs. never

7. It really feels like I'm "over sexed" never

8. Sex and aggression are really connected for me. never

9. I find it hard to be close in nonsexual ways. It just isn't satisfying. never

10. I frequently go after sex I really don't want. sometimes

11. Sex is the thing I'm best at. nope

12. I've sold myself for sex. never

13. I've had sex with people who don't respect me. nope

14. I need to control everything about sex. Never

15. I have a hard time staying present when I make love. yepp, all the time

16. When I am sexual, I have terrifying, scary feelings I don't understand. usually

17. I often have flashbacks of my abuse while making love. sometimes a lot

18. I get sexually aroused when I read or talk about sexual abuse. Never

19. Violent, sadistic fantasies turn me on. Never

20. I'm ashamed of my sexuality. never

21. I've sexually abused others. Never

CHILDREN AND PARENTING

1. I feel awkward and uncomfortable around children. never

2. I have a hard time being affectionate with kids. never

3. I have a hard time setting boundaries with kids. never

4. I have a hard time balancing children's needs with my own. Not sure what that means

5. (For parents) I feel inadequate as a parent. never

6. I have trouble protecting children I take care of. Never

7. I tend to be overprotective. Always

8. I've successfully protected children. I sure hope so

9. I'm scared I'll be abusive. never

10. I have abused children. Never

11. My kids have been abused (by someone else). never (I would kill that person)

MY FAMILY OF ORIGIN

1. I have strained relationships with my family. a little

2. Members of my family have rejected me (or vice versa) never

3. I have a hard time setting limits with my family. never

4. People in my family invalidate my feelings and experiences. sometimes

5. I feel crazy when I'm around my family. never

6. I can't be honest with the people in my family. sometimes

7. My abuse is still a secret in my family. always

8. I'm waiting for people in my family to come around and support me. never

If many of the statements on this list were familiar to you, you may feel overwhelmed right now. Put the purpose of this assessment is not to overwhelm you; it's to show you that there's a reason why you experience the things you do. It's to point out the areas that need healing. It is possible to dramatically alter your life so that your answers two years from now will bear little resemblance to your answers today.

1. When I look over my responses, I feel... tired

2. I've been most strongly affected in the areas of... Intimacy  and self esteem

3. I was least affected in the areas of... family

4. The hardest statements for me to acknowledge were... I dont know...

5. I feel the most hopeful about making changes in... intimicy

6. I already made major strides in the following areas... intimicy (got a long way to go)

7. I feel the most hopeless about changing... my self esteem

8. I was surprised by... nothing really

9. I learned... I have a long way to go.

wow...now Im tired. This was really healthy.
Juli

#22 Guest__*

  • Group: Guests

Posted 02 September 2001 - 08:07 PM

Read each sentence and indicate how frequently you have experienced or feel that way (Always, Usually, Sometimes, Rarely, Never).

SELF ESTEEM

1. I feel dirty, like there's something wrong with me. sometimes

2. Sometimes I think I'm crazy. sometimes

3. I feel ashamed. usually

4. I'm different from other people. usually

5. I feel powerless. sometimes

6. If people really knew me, they'd leave. sometimes

7. I want to die. sometimes

8. I want to kill myself. sometimes

9. I hate myself. sometimes

10. I have a hard time taking care of myself. usually

11. I don't deserve to be happy. rarely

12. I don't trust my intuition or my feelings. rarely

13. I'm often confused. sometimes

14. I don't know how to set goals and follow through on them. rarely

15. I'm scared of success. rarely

16. I'm a failure. I don't feel capable of doing a good job. sometimes

17. I use work to make up for empty feelings inside.
usually
18. I'm a perfectionist. usually

19. I've made up a lot of stories about my life. never

20. I've done a lot of shoplifting. never

MY FEELINGS

1. I don't think feelings are very important. rarely

2. I usually don't know what I'm feeling. sometimes

3. I can't tell one feeling from another. sometimes

4. I only experience one or two emotions. rarely

5. I have a hard time expressing my feelings. sometimes

6. I have a hard time crying freely. sometimes

7. I cry all the time. sometimes

8. I get uncomfortable when I feel too happy. rarely

9. I get nervous when things are relaxed and calm. rarely

10. I feel enraged a lot of the time. sometimes

11. I'm rarely angry. Anger scares me. sometimes

12. I get depressed a lot. sometimes

13. I have a lot of nightmares. always

14. I have panic attacks. sometimes

15. If I really let myself go, my feelings would be out of control. rarely

16. I've been violent. rarely

17. I haven't been violent yet, but I'm worried I might be.
rarely
MY BODY

1. I'm not "in my body" a lot of the time. rarely

2. I frequently space out. sometimes

3. My body often feels numb. rarely

4. I feel as if my body is separate from the rest of me.
rarely
5. I don't pay too much attention to my body's signals (hunger, tiredness, pain). sometimes

6. I think my body is ugly. usually

7. I hide my body. sometimes

8. I'm dyslexic. I had learning disabilities when I was growing up. never

9. I use drugs or alcohol more than I think I should.
rarely
10. I often eat compulsively. sometimes

11. I keep myself from eating, or eat and throw up. rarely

12. I hurt myself on purpose (cut, burn or injure myself)
rarely
13. I have illnesses I think are related to my abuse. sometimes

14. I've worked out to make my body strong so I wouldn't feel like a victim. never

15. I've had flashbacks of the abuse during surgery or other medical procedures. rarely (once)

16. I'm scared to go to the dentist. I hate the feeling of things in my mouth. rarely

17. (For women) I'm scared to go to the gynecologist.
Always
INTIMACY

1. I often feel alienated from other people, as if I'm from another planet.
sometimes
2. Most of my relationships just don't work. sometimes

3. I don't have many friends. sometimes

4. I'm okay with my friends, but I just can't work things out with a lover. usually

5. I think I'm really meant to be alone. sometimes

6. I'm not sure I deserve to be loved. usually

7. I don't know what love is. sometimes

8. I find it hard to trust people. sometimes

9. I think people are going to leave me. usually

10. I test people a lot. sometimes

11. It's hard for me to be nurtured or to nurture someone else. never

12. I'm clingy with people I'm close to. I'm afraid to be alone. rarely

13. I'm scared of making commitment. When people get too close, I panic. sometimes

14. I have a hard time saying no. sometimes

15. People take advantage of me in relationships. sometimes

16. I get involved with people who are inappropriate or inaccessible. sometimes

17. I've had relationships with people who remind me of my abuser. rarely

18. I'm struggling a lot with my partner. sometimes  

19. Sometimes I think my partner is my abuser. never

20. Sexual abuse is really creating problems in my relationship. sometimes

SEXUALITY

1. I avoid sex. Deep down, I wish I never had to deal with sex again. always

2. I am celibate. I haven't had sex in years. always (not counting the rape)

3. I really think sex is disgusting. always

4. I don't feel sexual desire. I think there's something basically wrong with it. usually

5. Sex isn't pleasurable for me. I usually have sex to make the other person happy. never

6. I try to use sex to meet most of my needs.
never
7. It really feels like I'm "oversexed" never

8. Sex and aggression are really connected for me. rarely

9. I find it hard to be close in nonsexual ways. It just isn't satisfying. rarely

10. I frequently go after sex I really don't want. never

11. Sex is the thing I'm best at. never

12. I've sold myself for sex. never

13. I've had sex with people who don't respect me. never

14. I need to control everything about sex. sometimes (if I ever got brave enough to have a sexual relationship, I'd like to feel some control over the situation)

15. I have a hard time staying present when I make love. I'm numb a lot during lovemaking. never

16. When I am sexual, I have terrifying, scary feelings I don't understand. never (I'm not sexual)

17. I often have flashbacks of my abuse while making love.
never (though this is a fear of mine if I ever have sex)
18. I get sexually aroused when I read or talk about sexual abuse. never

19. Violent, sadistic fantasies turn me on. never

20. I'm ashamed of my sexuality. sometimes

21. I've sexually abused others. never

CHILDREN AND PARENTING

1. I feel awkward and uncomfortable around children.
rarely
2. I have a hard time being affectionate with kids. rarely

3. I have a hard time setting boundaries with kids. sometimes

4. I have a hard time balancing children's needs with my own. sometimes

5. (For parents) I feel inadequate as a parent. sometimes (I'm not a parent, but I do take care of a child full-time)

6. I have trouble protecting children I take care of. never (I'm overprotective)

7. I tend to be overprotective. always

8. I've successfully protected children. usually

9. I'm scared I'll be abusive. sometimes

10. I have abused children. never

11. My kids have been abused (by someone else). Yes (the one I take care of)

MY FAMILY OF ORIGIN

1. I have strained relationships with my family.
Usually
2. Members of my family have rejected me (or vice versa)
sometimes
3. I have a hard time setting limits with my family.
sometimes (I let them take advantage of me)
4. People in my family invalidate my feelings and experiences. sometimes

5. I feel crazy when I'm around my family. sometimes

6. I can't be honest with the people in my family. sometimes

7. My abuse is still a secret in my family. usually

8. I'm waiting for people in my family to come around and support me. rarely

1. When I look over my responses, I feel... proud that I've come far, but disappointed that I've made no progress in some areas.

2. I've been most strongly affected in the areas of...
Sexuality...I'm completely messed up there.
3. I was least affected in the areas of...my family. they weren't supportive (the few who know) but they weren't before that with other things.

4. The hardest statements for me to acknowledge were...
sex and that I'm afraid I'll abuse my children (physically not sexually)...I'd never hurt my kids but the fear that it really is a cycle is always present.
5. I feel the most hopeful about making changes in... my sexuality. My boyfriend is extremely patient and has been around for years. He's helping regain my trust in him and myself slowly.

6. I already made major strides in the following areas...
Self-esteem. Not major strides but definant improvement. I remember hating myself more than anything and just wanting to die. It isn't like that as much anymore.
7. I feel the most hopeless about changing... my family.

8. I was surprised by... the fact that I actually filled this out and posted it. It's not like me to be vulnerable.

9. I learned... that I really am a survivor. I've really come far, but I still have a long way to go.


#23 Guest__*

  • Group: Guests

Posted 03 September 2001 - 11:37 PM

Whoopsie i missed like 6 questions(embaressed):

5. (For parents) I feel inadequate as a parent. N/A

6. I have trouble protecting children I take care of. NEVER

7. I tend to be overprotective. ALWAYS

8. I've successfully protected children. ALWAYS

9. I'm scared I'll be abusive. NEVER

10. I have abused children. NEVER!

11. My kids have been abused (by someone else). N/A

there we go =)

donna =)

#24 Guest__*

  • Group: Guests

Posted 10 September 2001 - 11:31 AM

I haven't picked up the Courage to Heal yet but I think I just might go out tonight and get it.
Here I go on the exercise anyway...

SELF ESTEEM

1. I feel dirty, like there's something wrong with me. - sometimes
2. Sometimes I think I'm crazy. - sometimes
3. I feel ashamed.-usually
4. I'm different from other people.- usually
5. I feel powerless. usually
6. If people really knew me, they'd leave. -always
7. I want to die. - sometimes
8. I want to kill myself. - sometimes
9. I hate myself. - usually
10. I have a hard time taking care of myself.- usually
11. I don't deserve to be happy. - always
12. I don't trust my intuition or my feelings. - usually
13. I'm often confused. - usually
14. I don't know how to set goals and follow through on them. - always
15. I'm scared of success. - always
16. I'm a failure. I don't feel capable of doing a good job. - usually
17. I use work to make up for empty feelings inside.- nenvr
18. I'm a perfectionist. - rarely
19. I've made up a lot of stories about my life. - rarely
20. I've done a lot of shoplifting. - rarely

MY FEELINGS

1. I don't think feelings are very important.- sometimes
2. I usually don't know what I'm feeling. - usually
3. I can't tell one feeling from another. - sometimes
4. I only experience one or two emotions. - sometimes
5. I have a hard time expressing my feelings. - always
6. I have a hard time crying freely. - sometimes
7. I cry all the time. sometimes
8. I get uncomfortable when I feel too happy. - always
9. I get nervous when things are relaxed and calm. - sometimes
10. I feel enraged a lot of the time. - usually
11. I'm rarely angry. Anger scares me. - sometimes
12. I get depressed a lot. sometimes
13. I have a lot of nightmares. - sometimes
14. I have panic attacks. - sometimes
15. If I really let myself go, my feelings would be out of control. - usually
16. I've been violent.- sometimes

MY BODY

1. I'm not "in my body" a lot of the time. - rarely
2. I frequently space out. - sometimes
3. My body often feels numb. - sometimes
4. I feel as if my body is separate from the rest of me. sometimes
5. I don't pay too much attention to my body's signals - usually (hunger, tiredness, pain).
6. I think my body is ugly. - always
7. I hide my body. - always
8. I'm dyslexic. I had learning disabilities when I was growing up. - never
9. I use drugs or alcohol more than I think I should. - sometimes
10. I often eat compulsively. -sometimes
11. I keep myself from eating, or eat and throw up. - never
12. I hurt myself on purpose (cut, burn or injure myself)-sometimes
13. I have illnesses I think are related to my abuse. sometimes
14. I've worked out to make my body strong so I wouldn't feel like a victim. - rarely
15. I've had flashbacks of the abuse during surgery or other medical procedures. - never
16. I'm scared to go to the dentist. I hate the feeling of things in my mouth. - never
17. (For women) I'm scared to go to the gynecologist. - always

INTIMACY

1. I often feel alienated from other people, as if I'm from another planet. - always
2. Most of my relationships just don't work. - always
3. I don't have many friends. - always
4. I'm okay with my friends, but I just can't work things out with a lover. - usually
5. I think I'm really meant to be alone. - always
6. I'm not sure I deserve to be loved. - always
7. I don't know what love is. - always
8. I find it hard to trust people. - always
9. I think people are going to leave me. - always
10. I test people a lot. - rarely
11. It's hard for me to be nurtured or to nurture someone else. - usually
12. I'm clingy with people I'm close to. I'm afraid to be alone. - always
13. I'm scared of making commitment. When people get too close, I panic. - sometimes
14. I have a hard time saying no. - always
15. People take advantage of me in relationships. usually
16. I get involved with people who are inappropriate or inaccessible. - sometimes
17. I've had relationships with people who remind me of my abuser. - sometimes

SEXUALITY

1. I avoid sex. Deep down, I wish I never had to deal with sex again. - sometimes
3. I really think sex is disgusting. never
4. I don't feel sexual desire. I think there's something basically wrong with it. - never
5. Sex isn't pleasurable for me. I usually have sex to make the other person happy. - rarely
6. I try to use sex to meet most of my needs.- never
7. It really feels like I'm "oversexed" - what?
8. Sex and aggression are really connected for me. never
9. I find it hard to be close in nonsexual ways. It just isn't satisfying. - sometimes
10. I frequently go after sex I really don't want. - sometimes
11. Sex is the thing I'm best at. - rarely
12. I've sold myself for sex. never
13. I've had sex with people who don't respect me. rarely
14. I need to control everything about sex. - nrarely
15. I have a hard time staying present when I make love. - sometimes
16. I'm numb a lot during lovemaking. - rarely
16. When I am sexual, I have terrifying, scary feelings I don't understand. - sometimes
17. I often have flashbacks of my abuse while making love. - rarely
18. I get sexually aroused when I read or talk about sexual abuse. - never
19. Violent, sadistic fantasies turn me on. - never
20. I'm ashamed of my sexuality. - sometimes
21. I've sexually abused others. - never

MY FAMILY OF ORIGIN

1. I have strained relationships with my family. - usually
2. Members of my family have rejected me (or vice versa)- sometimes
3. I have a hard time setting limits with my family. - usually
4. People in my family invalidate my feelings and experiences. - usually
5. I feel crazy when I'm around my family. - always
6. I can't be honest with the people in my family. - sometimes
7. My abuse is still a secret in my family. - always
8. I'm waiting for people in my family to come around and support me. - never

hugs and more hugs,

Joelle

#25 Guest__*

  • Group: Guests

Posted 18 September 2001 - 07:43 PM

SELF ESTEEM

i feel dirty, like theres something wrong with me-sometimes

sometimes i think im crazy-rarely

i feel ashamed-sometimes

i'm different from other people-sometimes

i feel powerless-sometimes

if people really knew me, they'd leave-sometimes

i want to die-never

i want to kill myself-never

i hate myself-sometimes

i have a hard time taking care of myslef-always

i dont deserve to be happy-usually

i dont trust my intution or my feelings-rarely

im often confused-sometimes

i dont know how to set goals and follow through on them-always

i'm scared of success-never

im a failure.  i dont feel capable of doing a good job-usually

i use work to make up for empty feelings inside-sometimes

im a perfectionist-usually

ive made up a lot of storieds about my life- never

i've done a lot of shoplifting-never


MY FEELINGS

i dont think feelings are very important-never

i usually dont know what im feeling-sometimes

i cant tell one feeling from another-sometimes

i only experience one or two emotions-never

i have a hard time expressing my feelings-sometimes

i have a hard time crying freely-never

i cry all the time-usually

i get uncomfortable when i feel too happy-never

i get nervous when things are relaxed and calm-never

i feel enraged a lot of the time-sometimes

im rarely angry. anger scares me-sometimes

i get depressed a lot-usually

i have a lot of nightmares-always

i have panic attacks-usually

if i really let myself go, my feelings would be out of control-sometimes

i've been violent-sometimes

i havent been violent yet, but im worried i might be-sometimes

MY BODY

im not "in my body" a lot of the time-rarely

i frequently space out- sometimes

my body often feels numb-rarely

i feel as if my body is separate from the rest of me- sometimes

i dont pay too much attention to my bodys signals (hunger, tiredness, pain)-never
i think my body is ugly-usually

i hide my body-usually

im dyslexis.  i had learning disabilities growing up-never

i use drugs or alchol more than i think i should- never

i often eat compulsively-usually

i keep myself from eating, or eat and throw up-never

i hurt myself on purpose-never

i have illnesses i think are related to my abuse-usually

ive worked out to make my body strong to i wouldnt feel like a victim-never

ive had flashbacks of the abuse during surgery or other medical procedures-always

im scared to go to the dentist.  i hate the feeling of things in my mouth-never

im scared to go to the gynecologist-always

INTIMACY

i often feel alienated from other people, as if im from another planet-sometimes

most of my relationships just dont work-usually

i dont have many friends-sometimes

im okay with my friends, but i just cant work things out with a lover-usually

i think im really meant to be alone-never

im not sure i deserve to be loved-sometimes

i dont know what love is-rarely

i find i hard to trust people-always

i think people are going to leave me-usually

i test people a lot-always

its hard for me to be nurtured or to nurture someone else-usually

im clingy with people im close to.  im afraid to be alone-always

im scared of making commitment.  when people get too close,i panic-usually

i have a hard time saying no-never

people take advantage of me in relationships-never

i get involved with people who are inappropriate or inaccessible-rarely

ive had relationships with people who remind me of my abuser-rarely

im struggling alot with my partner-rarely

sometimes i think my partner is my abuser-rarely

sexual abuse is really creating problems in my relationship-rarely

SEXUALITY

i avoid sex. deep down, i wish i never had to deal with sex again-always

i am celibate.  i havent had sex in years-never

i really think sex is disgusting-always

i dont feel sexual desire.  i think theres something basically wrong withit-always

sex isnt pleasurable for me.  i usually have sex to make the other person happy- always

i try to use sex to meet most of my needs-rarely

it really feels like im oversexed-???

sex and aggression are really connected for me-never

i find it hard to be close in nonsexual ways.  its just not satisfying-never

i frequently go after sex i really dont want-never

sex is the thing im best at-never

ive sold myself for sex-never

ive had sex with people who dont respect me-rarely

i need to control everything about sex-always

i have a hard time staying present when I make love.  in numb a lot during lovemaking-usually

when i am sexual, ihave terrifying scary feelings i dont understand-always

i often have flashbacks of my abuse while making love-always

i get sexually aroused when i read or talk about sexual desire-NEVER

violent, sadistic fantasies turn me on-NEVER

im ashamed of my sexuality-rarely

ive sexually abused others-never

CHILDREN AND PARENTING

i feel awkard and uncomfortable around children-never

i have a hard time being affectionate with kids-rarely

i have a hard tiem setting boundaries with kids-never

i have a hard time balancing children's needs with my own-never

i feel inadequate as a parent-usually

i have trouble protecting children i take care of-never

i tend to be overprotective-always

ive successfully protected children-always

im scared ill be abusive-rarely

i have abused children-never

my kids have been abused (by someone else)-never

MY FAMILY OF ORIGIN

i have strained relationships with my family-sometimes

members of my family have rejected me or vice versa-rarely

i have a hard time setting limits with my family-never

people in my family invalidate my feelings and experiences-never

i feel crazy when im around my family-never

i cant be honest with people in my family-usually

my abuse is still a secret in my family-always

im waiting for people in my family to come around and support me-never

when i overlook my responses i feel like ive come a lot farther than where i was a while ago.

i've been most strong affected in the areas of sexuality and intimacy.

i was least affected in the areas of my family.

the hardest statment for me to acknowledge was that i think sex is disgusting, and that i can definatly live witout it.

i feel the most hopeful about making changes in my relationship and how my abuse affects me.

i already made strides in the following areas: family and relationship

i feel the most hopeless about changing my desire for sex.

i was surprised by...nothing really.

i learned that i still have alot of work to do within myself and the way i treat others


this was a very good and useful exercise.  thank you for the opportunity.  im exhausted now..but thank you.


#26 Guest__*

  • Group: Guests

Posted 30 September 2001 - 08:59 PM

SELF ESTEEM

1. I feel dirty, like there's something wrong with me.
>usually

2. Sometimes I think I'm crazy.
>usually
3. I feel ashamed.
>usually
4. I'm different from other people.
>always
5. I feel powerless.
>always
6. If people really knew me, they'd leave.
>always
7. I want to die.
>sometimes
8. I want to kill myself.
>sometimes
9. I hate myself.
>usually
10. I have a hard time taking care of myself.
>usually
11. I don't deserve to be happy.
>usually
12. I don't trust my intuition or my feelings.
>sometimes
13. I'm often confused.
usually
14. I don't know how to set goals and follow through on them. always
>always
15. I'm scared of success. Yes
>usually
16. I'm a failure. I don't feel capable of doing a good job.
>usually
17. I use work to make up for empty feelings inside.
>sometimes
18. I'm a perfectionist. Nope
>never
19. I've made up a lot of stories about my life.
>used to

20. I've done a lot of shoplifting.
>used to

MY FEELINGS

1. I don't think feelings are very important.
>nope

2. I usually don't know what I'm feeling.
>yup

3. I can't tell one feeling from another.
>yup

4. I only experience one or two emotions.
>nope

5. I have a hard time expressing my feelings.
>yup

6. I have a hard time crying freely.
>nope

7. I cry all the time.
>YUP

8. I get uncomfortable when I feel too happy.
>sometimes

9. I get nervous when things are relaxed and calm.
>sometimes

10. I feel enraged a lot of the time.
>Yes

11. I'm rarely angry. Anger scares me.
>nope

12. I get depressed a lot.
>usually

13. I have a lot of nightmares.
>usually

14. I have panic attacks.
>usually

15. If I really let myself go, my feelings would be out of control.
>always

16. I've been violent.
>used to

17. I haven't been violent yet, but I'm worried I might be.

MY BODY

1. I'm not "in my body" a lot of the time.
>not as much anymore

2. I frequently space out.
>yes

3. My body often feels numb.
>yes

4. I feel as if my body is separate from the rest of me.
>yes

5. I don't pay too much attention to my body's signals (hunger, tiredness, pain).
>yes
6. I think my body is ugly.
>yes
7. I hide my body.
>yes
8. I'm dyslexic. I had learning disabilities when I was growing up.
>nope
9. I use drugs or alcohol more than I think I should.
>yes
10. I often eat compulsively.
>nope
11. I keep myself from eating, or eat and throw up.
>nope
12. I hurt myself on purpose (cut, burn or injure myself)
>Not anymore
13. I have illnesses I think are related to my abuse.
>no
14. I've worked out to make my body strong so I wouldn't feel like a victim.
>besides the pts, panic attacks no

15. I've had flashbacks of the abuse during surgery or other medical procedures.
>yes,

16. I'm scared to go to the dentist. I hate the feeling of things in my mouth.
>no
17. (For women) I'm scared to go to the gynecologist.
>no, not my own Dr. but only my dr.

INTIMACY

1. I often feel alienated from other people, as if I'm from another planet.
>always

2. Most of my relationships just don't work.
>some do but fall apart

3. I don't have many friends.
>nope don't make them easy, or keep them well.

4. I'm okay with my friends, but I just can't work things out with a lover.
>no

5. I think I'm really meant to be alone.
<no

6. I'm not sure I deserve to be loved.
>sometimes< I wonder why he is still here
7. I don't know what love is.
>
8. I find it hard to trust people.
>YES

9. I think people are going to leave me:
>YES, once they get to know me
they will go away, everyone does.

10. I test people a lot.
>No Just wait until the end

11. It's hard for me to be nurtured or to nurture someone else.
>Yes, I want to be a friend, and say something to someone but, I worry that
I will just go on about my self or they will think I have no clue about how they
feel.

12. I'm clingy with people I'm close to. I'm afraid to be alone.
>yes, yes yes

13. I'm scared of making commitment. When people get too close, I panic.
>no

14. I have a hard time saying no.
>always
15. People take advantage of me in relationships.
>no
16. I get involved with people who are inappropriate or inaccessible.
>no

17. I've had relationships with people who remind me of my abuser.
>o

18. I'm struggling a lot with my partner.
>no

19. Sometimes I think my partner is my abuser.
>that's happened a few or so times I have completely freaked out
him.

20. Sexual abuse is really creating problems in my relationship.
>nope

SEXUALITY

1. I avoid sex. Deep down, I wish I never had to deal with sex again.
>no
2. I am celibate. I haven't had sex in years.
>no
3. I really think sex is disgusting.
>no
4. I don't feel sexual desire. I think there's something basically wrong with it.
>I really don't have the desire but I don't have a problem with it
5. Sex isn't pleasurable for me. I usually have sex to make the other person happy.
>>Yes, YES
6. I try to use sex to meet most of my needs.

7. It really feels like I'm "oversexed"
no

8. Sex and aggression are really connected for me.
>sometimes

9. I find it hard to be close in nonsexual ways. It just isn't satisfying.
>no

10. I frequently go after sex I really don't want.
>no

11. Sex is the thing I'm best at.
>no

12. I've sold myself for sex.
>no

13. I've had sex with people who don't respect me.
>yes
14. I need to control everything about sex.
>no

15. I have a hard time staying present when I make love. I'm numb a lot during lovemaking. >yes yes

16. When I am sexual, I have terrifying, scary feelings I don't understand.

17. I often have flashbacks of my abuse while making love.
>sometimes

18. I get sexually aroused when I read or talk about sexual abuse.
>no

19. Violent, sadistic fantasies turn me on.
>no

20. I'm ashamed of my sexuality.
>no

21. I've sexually abused others.
>no

CHILDREN AND PARENTING

1. I feel awkward and uncomfortable around children.
>no

2. I have a hard time being affectionate with kids.
>no

3. I have a hard time setting boundaries with kids.
>no
4. I have a hard time balancing children's needs with my own.
>no
5. (For parents) I feel inadequate as a parent.
>sometimes
6. I have trouble protecting children I take care of.
>no
7. I tend to be overprotective.
>yes
8. I've successfully protected children.
>I hope so
9. I'm scared I'll be abusive.
>no
10. I have abused children.
>no
11. My kids have been abused (by someone else).
>(?)
MY FAMILY OF ORIGIN

1. I have strained relationships with my family.
>sometimes

2. Members of my family have rejected me (or vice versa)
>no

3. I have a hard time setting limits with my family.
>no

4. People in my family invalidate my feelings and experiences.
>no

5. I feel crazy when I'm around my family.
>no
6. I can't be honest with the people in my family.
>yes

7. My abuse is still a secret in my family.
>no, a secret from my family

8. I'm waiting for people in my family to come around and support me.
>no

If many of the statements on this list were familiar to you, you may feel overwhelmed right now. Put the purpose of this assessment is not to overwhelm you; it's to show you that there's a reason why you experience the things you do. It's to point out the areas that need healing. It is possible to dramatically alter your life so that your answers two years from now will bear little resemblance to your answers today.

1. When I look over my responses, I feel...
>better, relieved

2. I've been most strongly affected in the areas of...
>self esstem
3. I was least affected in the areas of...
>parenting
4. The hardest statements for me to acknowledge were...
>the Sex part
5. I feel the most hopeful about making changes in...
>i don't know
6. I already made major strides in the following areas...
> don't know
7. I feel the most hopeless about changing...
>telling
8. I was surprised by...
>my feeling
9. I learned...

#27 Guest__*

  • Group: Guests

Posted 26 November 2001 - 10:46 PM

OKAY here goes me. Please don't hate me for any of my answers there's a lot I've done that isn't very nice but i don't do any of them anymore, straightened myself up.
1. I feel dirty, like there's something wrong with me. Usually
2. Sometimes I think I'm crazy. Always

3. I feel ashamed. Sometimes

4. I'm different from other people. Sometimes

5. I feel powerless. Always

6. If people really knew me, they'd leave. Always

7. I want to die. Sometimes

8. I want to kill myself. Rarely

9. I hate myself. Usually

10. I have a hard time taking care of myself. Sometimes

11. I don't deserve to be happy. Always

12. I don't trust my intuition or my feelings. Never

13. I'm often confused. Usually

14. I don't know how to set goals and follow through on them. Usually

15. I'm scared of success. Never

16. I'm a failure. I don't feel capable of doing a good job. Sometimes

17. I use work to make up for empty feelings inside. Rarely

18. I'm a perfectionist. Rarely

19. I've made up a lot of stories about my life. Sometimes

20. I've done a lot of shoplifting. Used to all the time

MY FEELINGS

1. I don't think feelings are very important. Rarely

2. I usually don't know what I'm feeling. Rarely

3. I can't tell one feeling from another. Rarely

4. I only experience one or two emotions. Usually

5. I have a hard time expressing my feelings. Sometimes

6. I have a hard time crying freely. Sometimes

7. I cry all the time. Sometimes

8. I get uncomfortable when I feel too happy. Always

9. I get nervous when things are relaxed and calm. Always

10. I feel enraged a lot of the time. Rarely

11. I'm rarely angry. Anger scares me. Usually

12. I get depressed a lot. Always

13. I have a lot of nightmares. Always

14. I have panic attacks. Usually

15. If I really let myself go, my feelings would be out of control. Always

16. I've been violent. Yes

17. I haven't been violent yet, but I'm worried I might be. N/A

MY BODY

1. I'm not "in my body" a lot of the time. Usually

2. I frequently space out. Always

3. My body often feels numb. Usually

4. I feel as if my body is separate from the rest of me. Usually

5. I don't pay too much attention to my body's signals (hunger, tiredness, pain). Usually

6. I think my body is ugly. Always

7. I hide my body. Never

8. I'm dyslexic. I had learning disabilities when I was growing up. Never

9. I use drugs or alcohol more than I think I should. Never

10. I often eat compulsively. Never

11. I keep myself from eating, or eat and throw up. Never

12. I hurt myself on purpose (cut, burn or injure myself)
Sometimes

13. I have illnesses I think are related to my abuse. Always

14. I've worked out to make my body strong so I wouldn't feel like a victim. Rarely (ewww exercise!!!)

15. I've had flashbacks of the abuse during surgery or other medical procedures. Sometimes

16. I'm scared to go to the dentist. I hate the feeling of things in my mouth. Sometimes

17. (For women) I'm scared to go to the gynecologist. Usually

INTIMACY

1. I often feel alienated from other people, as if I'm from another planet. Always

2. Most of my relationships just don't work. Usually

3. I don't have many friends. Always

4. I'm okay with my friends, but I just can't work things out with a lover. Sometimes

5. I think I'm really meant to be alone. Usually

6. I'm not sure I deserve to be loved. Always

7. I don't know what love is. #### no I don't know what love is!!!!

8. I find it hard to trust people. Trust. Huh???

9. I think people are going to leave me. Always

10. I test people a lot. Always

11. It's hard for me to be nurtured or to nurture someone else. Always

12. I'm clingy with people I'm close to. I'm afraid to be alone. Usually

13. I'm scared of making commitment. When people get too close, I panic. Rarely

14. I have a hard time saying no. Usually

15. People take advantage of me in relationships. Used to

16. I get involved with people who are inappropriate or inaccessible. Used to

17. I've had relationships with people who remind me of my abuser. Yes

18. I'm struggling a lot with my partner. Sometimes

19. Sometimes I think my partner is my abuser. Sometimes

20. Sexual abuse is really creating problems in my relationship. Usually

SEXUALITY

1. I avoid sex. Deep down, I wish I never had to deal with sex again. Always

2. I am celibate. I haven't had sex in years. Never

3. I really think sex is disgusting. Usually

4. I don't feel sexual desire. I think there's something basically wrong with it. Sometimes

5. Sex isn't pleasurable for me. I usually have sex to make the other person happy. Always

6. I try to use sex to meet most of my needs. Usually

7. It really feels like I'm "oversexed" Sometimes

8. Sex and aggression are really connected for me. Sometimes

9. I find it hard to be close in nonsexual ways. It just isn't satisfying. Never

10. I frequently go after sex I really don't want. Used to

11. Sex is the thing I'm best at. Usually

12. I've sold myself for sex. Used to

13. I've had sex with people who don't respect me. Yes

14. I need to control everything about sex. Always

15. I have a hard time staying present when I make love. I'm numb a lot during lovemaking. Always

16. When I am sexual, I have terrifying, scary feelings I don't understand. Usually

17. I often have flashbacks of my abuse while making love. Sometimes

18. I get sexually aroused when I read or talk about sexual abuse. Sometimes

19. Violent, sadistic fantasies turn me on.
Usually

20. I'm ashamed of my sexuality.
Never

21. I've sexually abused others. never ever ever

CHILDREN AND PARENTING

1. I feel awkward and uncomfortable around children. Never

2. I have a hard time being affectionate with kids. Rarely

3. I have a hard time setting boundaries with kids. Rarely

4. I have a hard time balancing children's needs with my own. Sometimes

5. (For parents) I feel inadequate as a parent. N/A

6. I have trouble protecting children I take care of. Never

7. I tend to be overprotective. Always

8. I've successfully protected children. Yes

9. I'm scared I'll be abusive. Yes

10. I have abused children. No way

11. My kids have been abused (by someone else). N/A

MY FAMILY OF ORIGIN

1. I have strained relationships with my family. Always

2. Members of my family have rejected me (or vice versa) Always

3. I have a hard time setting limits with my family. Always

4. People in my family invalidate my feelings and experiences. Denial baby!!!

5. I feel crazy when I'm around my family. Me loopy woman

6. I can't be honest with the people in my family. Always

7. My abuse is still a secret in my family. Yes

8. I'm waiting for people in my family to come around and support me. It'll never happen.

Gawd I've got it bad!!!! Sorry for my pathetic self.
Rachael


#28 User is offline   Alex12345 

  • Group: Member
  • Posts: 2,343
  • Joined: 04-January 02

Posted 08 January 2002 - 09:39 AM

ok, Let's try to be honest and to see what are the damages ... Here are the one which are right for me :

2. Sometimes I think I'm crazy (often lately)

3. I feel ashamed. ( less than I used to do but still a little sometimes)

4. I'm different from other people.

12. I don't trust my intuition or my feelings. (if I did, I wouldn't have been abused by the second man :( )

13. I'm often confused. ( confused could be my nickname )

18. I'm a perfectionist.

3. I can't tell one feeling from another. ( true oly when it comes to feelings about my abuse)

6. I have a hard time crying freely.

11. I'm rarely angry. Anger scares me.

12. I get depressed a lot. ( lately ...)

13. I have a lot of nightmares. ( lately ...)

14. I have panic attacks.( not very often but sometimes )

3. My body often feels numb.

7. I hide my body. ( I did for years, now I feel better with that )

17. (For women) I'm scared to go to the gynecologist. ( so true, that's the reason, I've never been there )

3. I don't have many friends.

5. I think I'm really meant to be alone.

6. I'm not sure I deserve to be loved.

8. I find it hard to trust people.

9. I think people are going to leave me.

10. I test people a lot.

12. I'm clingy with people I'm close to. I'm afraid to be alone.

14. I have a hard time saying no.

3. I really think sex is disgusting.

4. I don't feel sexual desire. I think there's something basically wrong with it.

5. Sex isn't pleasurable for me. I usually have sex to make the other person happy.

8. Sex and aggression are really connected for me. ( it's why everything about sex trigger me )

20. I'm ashamed of my sexuality.

4. People in my family invalidate my feelings and experiences.

6. I can't be honest with the people in my family.

7. My abuse is still a secret in my family.( it has been for years, I finally told to my parents few months ago, bt my father went to see my uncle and that jerk told to all my family I was accusing him of abusing me )

8. I'm waiting for people in my family to come around and support me. ( STILL WAITING !!!!!)

1. When I look over my responses, I feel... Wow, this make me look at the truth, I can't avoid it. It hurts.

2. I've been most strongly affected in the areas of... don't really know, feelings and sexuality

3. I was least affected in the areas of... my body

4. The hardest statements for me to acknowledge were... I'm ashamed when it comes to sex

8. I was surprised by... the fact I answered honestly to these questions.


#29 Guest__*

  • Group: Guests

Posted 21 January 2002 - 08:08 PM

SELF ESTEEM

1. I feel dirty, like there's something wrong with me.  usually

2. Sometimes I think I'm crazy.  Rarely

3. I feel ashamed. always

4. I'm different from other people. always

5. I feel powerless. sometimes

6. If people really knew me, they'd leave. usually

7. I want to die. never

8. I want to kill myself. never

9. I hate myself. sometimes

10. I have a hard time taking care of myself. sometimes

11. I don't deserve to be happy. sometimes

12. I don't trust my intuition or my feelings. sometimes

13. I'm often confused. sometimes

14. I don't know how to set goals and follow through on them. sometimes

15. I'm scared of success. rarely

16. I'm a failure. I don't feel capable of doing a good job. usually

17. I use work to make up for empty feelings inside. sometimes

18. I'm a perfectionist. sometimes

19. I've made up a lot of stories about my life. never

20. I've done a lot of shoplifting. never

MY FEELINGS

1. I don't think feelings are very important. never

2. I usually don't know what I'm feeling. sometimes

3. I can't tell one feeling from another. sometimes

4. I only experience one or two emotions. sometimes

5. I have a hard time expressing my feelings. usually

6. I have a hard time crying freely. sometimes

7. I cry all the time. sometimes

8. I get uncomfortable when I feel too happy. usually

9. I get nervous when things are relaxed and calm. usually

10. I feel enraged a lot of the time. rarely

11. I'm rarely angry. Anger scares me. always

12. I get depressed a lot. usually

13. I have a lot of nightmares. usually

14. I have panic attacks. usually

15. If I really let myself go, my feelings would be out of control. sometimes

16. I've been violent. rarely

17. I haven't been violent yet, but I'm worried I might be. never

MY BODY

1. I'm not "in my body" a lot of the time. usually

2. I frequently space out. usually

3. My body often feels numb. sometimes

4. I feel as if my body is separate from the rest of me. sometimes

5. I don't pay too much attention to my body's signals (hunger, tiredness, pain). sometimes

6. I think my body is ugly. always

7. I hide my body. always

8. I'm dyslexic. I had learning disabilities when I was growing up. never

9. I use drugs or alcohol more than I think I should. never

10. I often eat compulsively. usually

11. I keep myself from eating, or eat and throw up. never

12. I hurt myself on purpose (cut, burn or injure myself) rarely

13. I have illnesses I think are related to my abuse. ?

14. I've worked out to make my body strong so I wouldn't feel like a victim. sometimes

15. I've had flashbacks of the abuse during surgery or other medical procedures. sometimes

16. I'm scared to go to the dentist. I hate the feeling of things in my mouth. usually

17. (For women) I'm scared to go to the gynecologist. always

INTIMACY

1. I often feel alienated from other people, as if I'm from another planet. sometimes

2. Most of my relationships just don't work. sometimes

3. I don't have many friends. rarely

4. I'm okay with my friends, but I just can't work things out with a lover. never

5. I think I'm really meant to be alone. never

6. I'm not sure I deserve to be loved. usually

7. I don't know what love is. never

8. I find it hard to trust people. always

9. I think people are going to leave me. always

10. I test people a lot. always

11. It's hard for me to be nurtured or to nurture someone else. sometimes

12. I'm clingy with people I'm close to. I'm afraid to be alone. sometimes

13. I'm scared of making commitment. When people get too close, I panic. usually

14. I have a hard time saying no. sometimes

15. People take advantage of me in relationships. sometimes

16. I get involved with people who are inappropriate or inaccessible. sometimes

17. I've had relationships with people who remind me of my abuser. NEVER

18. I'm struggling a lot with my partner. usually

19. Sometimes I think my partner is my abuser. rarely

20. Sexual abuse is really creating problems in my relationship. sometimes

SEXUALITY

1. I avoid sex. Deep down, I wish I never had to deal with sex again. sometimes

2. I am celibate. I haven't had sex in years. no

3. I really think sex is disgusting. sometimes

4. I don't feel sexual desire. I think there's something basically wrong with it. sometimes

5. Sex isn't pleasurable for me. I usually have sex to make the other person happy. sometimes

6. I try to use sex to meet most of my needs. never

7. It really feels like I'm "oversexed" never

8. Sex and aggression are really connected for me. sometimes

9. I find it hard to be close in nonsexual ways. It just isn't satisfying. never

10. I frequently go after sex I really don't want. never

11. Sex is the thing I'm best at. rarely

12. I've sold myself for sex. never

13. I've had sex with people who don't respect me. never

14. I need to control everything about sex. Would like to

15. I have a hard time staying present when I make love. I'm numb a lot during lovemaking. usually

16. When I am sexual, I have terrifying, scary feelings I don't understand. sometimes

17. I often have flashbacks of my abuse while making love. sometimes

18. I get sexually aroused when I read or talk about sexual abuse. never

19. Violent, sadistic fantasies turn me on. never

20. I'm ashamed of my sexuality. always

21. I've sexually abused others. never

CHILDREN AND PARENTING

1. I feel awkward and uncomfortable around children. never

2. I have a hard time being affectionate with kids. never

3. I have a hard time setting boundaries with kids. never

4. I have a hard time balancing children's needs with my own. sometimes

5. (For parents) I feel inadequate as a parent. sometimes

6. I have trouble protecting children I take care of. never

7. I tend to be overprotective. usually

8. I've successfully protected children. yes

9. I'm scared I'll be abusive. never

10. I have abused children. never

11. My kids have been abused (by someone else). never

MY FAMILY OF ORIGIN

1. I have strained relationships with my family. always

2. Members of my family have rejected me (or vice versa) yes

3. I have a hard time setting limits with my family. Always

4. People in my family invalidate my feelings and experiences. always

5. I feel crazy when I'm around my family. usually

6. I can't be honest with the people in my family. always

7. My abuse is still a secret in my family. never

8. I'm waiting for people in my family to come around and support me. never

If many of the statements on this list were familiar to you, you may feel overwhelmed right now. Put the purpose of this assessment is not to overwhelm you; it's to show you that there's a reason why you experience the things you do. It's to point out the areas that need healing. It is possible to dramatically alter your life so that your answers two years from now will bear little resemblance to your answers today.

1. When I look over my responses, I feel... nothing. Numb.

2. I've been most strongly affected in the areas of... spacing out, depression, sexuality, self-image.

3. I was least affected in the areas of... children

4. The hardest statements for me to acknowledge were... how powerful the affects still are.

5. I feel the most hopeful about making changes in... all areas…

6. I already made major strides in the following areas... I don’t know yet

7. I feel the most hopeless about changing... I don’t know yet

8. I was surprised by... nothing

9. I learned... nothing


#30 Guest__*

  • Group: Guests

Posted 07 April 2003 - 11:41 AM

(Always, Usually, Sometimes, Rarely, Never).

SELF ESTEEM

1. I feel dirty, like there's something wrong with me. rarely
2. Sometimes I think I'm crazy.  sometimes

3. I feel ashamed.  sometimes

4. I'm different from other people.  sometimes

5. I feel powerless.  sometimes

6. If people really knew me, they'd leave.  rarely

7. I want to die. rarely

8. I want to kill myself. rarely

9. I hate myself. sometimes

10. I have a hard time taking care of myself.  usually

11. I don't deserve to be happy. never

12. I don't trust my intuition or my feelings. sometimes

13. I'm often confused. sometimes

14. I don't know how to set goals and follow through on them. sometimes

15. I'm scared of success.  rarely

16. I'm a failure. I don't feel capable of doing a good job. rarely

17. I use work to make up for empty feelings inside. rarely

18. I'm a perfectionist. sometimes

19. I've made up a lot of stories about my life. never

20. I've done a lot of shoplifting. never

MY FEELINGS

1. I don't think feelings are very important. sometimes

2. I usually don't know what I'm feeling.  usually

3. I can't tell one feeling from another. sometimes

4. I only experience one or two emotions. sometimes

5. I have a hard time expressing my feelings. usually

6. I have a hard time crying freely. always

7. I cry all the time. rarely

8. I get uncomfortable when I feel too happy. never

9. I get nervous when things are relaxed and calm. rarely

10. I feel enraged a lot of the time. sometimes

11. I'm rarely angry. Anger scares me. rarely

12. I get depressed a lot. usually

13. I have a lot of nightmares. sometimes

14. I have panic attacks. sometimes

15. If I really let myself go, my feelings would be out of control. usually

16. I've been violent. never

17. I haven't been violent yet, but I'm worried I might be.
rarely
MY BODY

1. I'm not "in my body" a lot of the time. sometimes

2. I frequently space out. sometimes

3. My body often feels numb. rarely

4. I feel as if my body is separate from the rest of me. rarely

5. I don't pay too much attention to my body's signals (hunger, tiredness, pain). usually

6. I think my body is ugly. usually

7. I hide my body. usually

8. I'm dyslexic. I had learning disabilities when I was growing up.  never

9. I use drugs or alcohol more than I think I should.
rarely
10. I often eat compulsively. rarely

11. I keep myself from eating, or eat and throw up.
never
12. I hurt myself on purpose (cut, burn or injure myself)
rarely
13. I have illnesses I think are related to my abuse.
sometimes
14. I've worked out to make my body strong so I wouldn't feel like a victim.
rarely
15. I've had flashbacks of the abuse during surgery or other medical procedures.
rarely
16. I'm scared to go to the dentist. I hate the feeling of things in my mouth.
rarely
17. (For women) I'm scared to go to the gynecologist.
rarely
INTIMACY

1. I often feel alienated from other people, as if I'm from another planet.  usually

2. Most of my relationships just don't work. usually

3. I don't have many friends. sometimes

4. I'm okay with my friends, but I just can't work things out with a lover. usually

5. I think I'm really meant to be alone. sometimes

6. I'm not sure I deserve to be loved. rarely

7. I don't know what love is. someitmes

8. I find it hard to trust people. usually

9. I think people are going to leave me. sometimes

10. I test people a lot. rarely

11. It's hard for me to be nurtured or to nurture someone else. sometimes

12. I'm clingy with people I'm close to. I'm afraid to be alone. sometimes

13. I'm scared of making commitment. When people get too close, I panic. usually

14. I have a hard time saying no. rarely

15. People take advantage of me in relationships. rarely

16. I get involved with people who are inappropriate or inaccessible. sometiems

17. I've had relationships with people who remind me of my abuser. never

18. I'm struggling a lot with my partner. sometimes

19. Sometimes I think my partner is my abuser. never

20. Sexual abuse is really creating problems in my relationship. sometimes

SEXUALITY

1. I avoid sex. Deep down, I wish I never had to deal with sex again. usually

2. I am celibate. I haven't had sex in years. one year

3. I really think sex is disgusting. sometimes

4. I don't feel sexual desire. I think there's something basically wrong with it. rarely

5. Sex isn't pleasurable for me. I usually have sex to make the other person happy. never

6. I try to use sex to meet most of my needs. never

7. It really feels like I'm "oversexed" never

8. Sex and aggression are really connected for me. sometimes

9. I find it hard to be close in nonsexual ways. It just isn't satisfying. never

10. I frequently go after sex I really don't want. never

11. Sex is the thing I'm best at. never

12. I've sold myself for sex. never

13. I've had sex with people who don't respect me. rarely

14. I need to control everything about sex. never

15. I have a hard time staying present when I make love. I'm numb a lot during lovemaking. rarely

16. When I am sexual, I have terrifying, scary feelings I don't understand. sometimes

17. I often have flashbacks of my abuse while making love.
never
18. I get sexually aroused when I read or talk about sexual abuse.
never
19. Violent, sadistic fantasies turn me on.
never
20. I'm ashamed of my sexuality.
sometimes
21. I've sexually abused others.
never
CHILDREN AND PARENTING

1. I feel awkward and uncomfortable around children. never

2. I have a hard time being affectionate with kids. sometiems

3. I have a hard time setting boundaries with kids.
rarely
4. I have a hard time balancing children's needs with my own.
sometimes
5. (For parents) I feel inadequate as a parent.

6. I have trouble protecting children I take care of.

7. I tend to be overprotective.

8. I've successfully protected children.

9. I'm scared I'll be abusive.

10. I have abused children.

11. My kids have been abused (by someone else).

MY FAMILY OF ORIGIN

1. I have strained relationships with my family. sometimes

2. Members of my family have rejected me (or vice versa) sometimes

3. I have a hard time setting limits with my family.
sometimes
4. People in my family invalidate my feelings and experiences. rarely

5. I feel crazy when I'm around my family. sometimes

6. I can't be honest with the people in my family. rarely

7. My abuse is still a secret in my family. never

8. I'm waiting for people in my family to come around and support me. sometimes

1. When I look over my responses, I feel...surprised but informed.

2. I've been most strongly affected in the areas of... feelings, sex, and intimacy.

3. I was least affected in the areas of... self esteem, my body.

4. The hardest statements for me to acknowledge were...related to sex.

5. I feel the most hopeful about making changes in... intimacy.

6. I already made major strides in the following areas...

7. I feel the most hopeless about changing...i have hope for all changes.

8. I was surprised by... the affect on my relationships.

9. I learned... I am very disinterested in sex.

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