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I still wonder

Posted by writer2010 , 03 May 2013 · 27 views

About it and how it will come out to others. Sometimes, I do not want my mom to know just because of all of the other stuff that had happened. All of this family stuff just annoys me. I get every family has its "demons" to battle but I just feel like this is never ending. I feel bad at times since I do feel ashamed of my family (not all) but its like I want to just be out on my own and start a new family, where friends or my own family. I have been trying not to blame myself too about what had happened between my brother and I. I just feel more frustrated (angry/sad/embarrassed/humiliated) and just wish I would NEVER see him and my dad again. But doubt that will happen because when holidays come around (mothers day I am dreading a bit) my mom of course wants to see my brother. That is why sometimes, I wish my mom would just ask me flat out if I was ever you know or even find my journals where I write about the abuse by both.

July 2014

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