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Top 10 Stupidest Comments
Posted 18 May 2010 - 01:42 AM
One of the worst I've gotten was in response to telling someone about oral r*pe. Their response:
"Someone can't be orally r*ped, can't you just bite down or close your mouth or something?"
Um, pretty sure if that was an option, I would have done that instead of, you know, being abused. Idiot.
Posted 18 May 2010 - 02:35 AM
Posted 18 May 2010 - 05:31 PM
1. From the Knuckle-Dragging, Beta Male Wannabes: "You were raped by a woman? Dude, I'd pay to have that happen to me!" Usually followed by, "was she hot?"
2. From the I Failed Biology 101 Coalition: "Come on, a man wouldn't get an erection if he didn't want it."
3. From the Close-minded Stereotypers Pretending to Be Feminists Gallery: "Women don't do that, rape is a crime committed by men against women."
4. From the I've Never Been Traumatized Personally, But I'm an Expert Just the Same Federation: "If you focused on the positive things in life, instead of dwelling on this icky stuff you'd get over it." This is often substituted with, "it has been XXX years, how long are you gonna let it bother you?"
5. And finally, from the I Have A Magic Calculator that Can Assign Objective Values and Hierarchies to Human Suffering Committee: "Others have been through worse, what makes your little problem so special?"
I could go on for a while longer, but I think the sarcasm is dripping enough as is now. :)/>
Posted 18 May 2010 - 11:23 PM
...Hey, did you know that if you say 'no' more angrily it means that you mean it more?
Later in the conversation she blamed what happened to me on what I was wearing..."You know, you walk around here in your little shorts and little tank tops"...
...a few things...1~It was August...I guess I should have been wearing a wool sweater...2~He was my cousin...3~I could have been stark raving naked and he still had no right...
During another conversation regarding another molestation by another cousin my mom asked me if I had told my friend (this friend went to the same high school as the prick) When I told her that I hadn't told my friend (a lie) she responded "well good, because do you have any idea what you could have done to his reputation?"
...because I'm really worried about his reputation...well to update...this was 12 years ago...and let me tell you, THANK GOD no one found out about what he did to me because his reputation is just sparkling...he has lost his licence more than 3 times for years at a time and most recently, right after he got the state mandated breathalizer taken out of his car, he got drunk behind the wheel and decided to try and out run a cop...and ended up in a tree...(i remember everyone in my family was devastated and praying he'd be ok...I did not pray.) He's fine health wise although he did spend Christmas in the ICU...I'm looking forward to June when he goes to court...and more than likely gets jail time...each time he screws up and gets caught it's like a little drop of heavely karma ;)/>
Posted 09 June 2010 - 07:02 AM
Why would J say something like that? There wasn't any need...J had already broke up with me and I'd accepted it. What was the point?
To make matters worse, I have been raped more than once -- two times I'd never told anyone about until I told my therapist after J's comments -- and repeatedly by A, who would also drug me and let people rape me for drugs and money. A would repeatedly tell me that no man would ever love me or want to be with once they knew what he (A) had done to me, and that I had nothing to offer a man but sex.
That's why I ended up going back to my therapist, J's words triggered my PTSD, and I started having nightmares, flashbacks and anxiety issues.
This post has been edited by Cat5: 09 June 2010 - 07:31 AM
Posted 13 June 2010 - 12:14 PM
Him: H told me that studies have shown that nine out of ten people enjoy gang rapes...
I responded with are you freaking kidding me...
Him: It's a freaking joke you moron. The one out of ten is the victim...rolflmmfao
He, like the rest of my family and most of my friends, don't know that I was gang raped...geez, I wonder why I didn't tell them...
Posted 14 June 2010 - 12:34 AM
Posted 18 June 2010 - 08:36 PM
Posted 24 June 2010 - 12:51 PM
me: of course my father is denying everything, that's the classical behaviour of a perpetrator
my mother: no, no, in contrary, he is talking very openly about it
talking openly about WHAT? he claims that I must've understood something wrong. yeah, he talks openly about THAT.
me: I think it started when I was three.
my mother: no, it can't have started at three because I never left your side until that age. it must have started when you were four.
oh yeah, sorry mum I forgot, when you're four you can already give consent so it makes a huge difference if I was three or four years old...
my mother: but how can he have abused you, he was working all the time, he was hardly at home
well, let me remind you that we shared the same household for eighteen years. even if you work much and don't sleep at home every night this still leaves a lot of time for it...
it's amazing how people who usually are emotionally quite intelligent can believe themselves when they say things like that...
Posted 25 June 2010 - 08:09 AM
"Did the two of you have sex earlier that evening? If you did, maybe he thought the first yes was good for the whole night."
"What? You were in his bed? You gave consent just by being there. It doesn't matter what you said."
"You're a really nice girl. Someday you'll find a good guy, and he will treat you right."
"You're a little bit mentally unstable right now. I mean, you're not secure or confident, and you have trust issues. You're scared out of your mind in your own bedroom." (Yeah, it's called rape-response ptsd.)
"Don't you know that I wouldn't hurt you like that? I mean, sure, I hurt you really bad emotionally, but I would never physically attack you or anything like he did." (Oh, good to know that I shouldn't expect it from you. Because I TOTALLY expected it from my attacker. And yeah, you're so trustworthy.)
"Well, sorry, but I don't have any intention of leaving Bartlesville any time soon." (After I told my best friend that I was hurting a lot and wished that we lived closer to each other.)
"Are you sure you aren't just upset that he broke up with you and blowing it out of proportion?"
"Well, if it really was rape, then you should have reported it to the police."
The worst, though, is when someone finds out and then suddenly disappears off the face of the earth. Maybe they just don't know what to say, so they ignore me to avoid the awkwardness. But all I really want is someone to offer to stay the night with me so I can sleep safely, someone to call me once in a while and say, "Hey, how are you doing? Are you okay? Do you need anything?" I just feel so alone.
Posted 25 June 2010 - 09:35 AM
When I first confided in my best friend, he didn't seem to get it. Didn't quite believe me (not so much calling me a liar, just couldn't get his head around it, he seemed to think I was superwoman, bad things happening to me just didn't make sense). But it got worse. When I tried to explain that I'd sort of repressed it all, not wanting to deal with it, he interrupts saying: "Oh people don't really repress memories, the brain doesn't work like that." well thanks, your GCSE level (done age 14-15) psychology class has clearly qualified you to tell me what trauma survivors do and do not experience. Thank you for invalidating me like that, you're a real help. Said idiot (who is still a dear friend, and has matured considerably since all this) also said "Go away you're making me depressed." when I was trying to talk to him about how down I felt.
Another so-called-friend who I was trying to tell about my SI responded: "You're crazy, I don't want anything do do with you."
I was discussing why I have certain issues with sex, with a friend, and commented that it meant that I was going to have certain problems. His response? "No it isn't because you're not going to let him do that to you. You're not going to let him make you a victim." sure he probably meant that to be empowering, but it wasn't. I didn't LET my R effect me, it just does. I didn't LET the flashbacks or nightmares happen, they just do.
I was sitting on the bus chatting to an acquainted, a few weeks after my R, and he commented (though he didn't know what had happened to me) that he thought most rapes were just a girl having too much drink and regretting her sex partner the next morning.
Anyway I'm off to knit myself some Chinese food!