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I've said it many times before, but I wish so badly that a day would come when I could lay down my sword and live in peace. My will to even wield the sword is fading more each day. My shield is so rusty and dented, that it no longer offers true protection. I'll never surrender, but my heart is so heavy. It makes me wonder sometime why I'm bothering to fight at all anymore...
It's so tiring to live on the edge all the time, defending myself or the people I love. It hurts that no one in my life ever wants to protect ME, or fight for ME. People expect me to carry the brunt and be the strong one, but I carry my own demons with me. I'm expected to keep my own problems to myself, but help resolve all of theirs.
It's only my deepest hope that life will eventually get better that keeps me holding on. I don't know if that hope makes me a fool or not, but still I persist in it.
It's so tiring to live on the edge all the time, defending myself or the people I love. It hurts that no one in my life ever wants to protect ME, or fight for ME. People expect me to carry the brunt and be the strong one, but I carry my own demons with me. I'm expected to keep my own problems to myself, but help resolve all of theirs.
It's only my deepest hope that life will eventually get better that keeps me holding on. I don't know if that hope makes me a fool or not, but still I persist in it.
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I will help you carry that shield and will help you defend yourself. You are not alone. I walk this journey with you. We all do. So hang in there friend. You are cared about and sending you my support and love too.
Safe hugs,
Laura xx