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03 August 2010
I don't feel alive anymore. I quit therapy, well not techniqually I am suposibly still ment to be going but I haven't been in 5 weeks and I have been avoiding phone calls from the eating disorder clinician and my therapist so pretty much I have quit. I have an appointment with my psychiatrist in 2 weeks which was made 3 months ago but I am pretty sure I am not going to go so yeah I am on my own now. I don't have time for all that, I don't have time to get better as uni is taking over my life. I don't know how I am surviving I am so tired with my stack of assignments and I am not sleeping at night, having nightmares and flashbacks. I feel like I am not really living, just going through the motions, Get up...go to uni....go to sleep...and occasionally I will try eat or watch tv...but not very often. Why live when thats what my life is...and yeah yeah life is what you make it blah blah blah.... easier said then done. Over it.