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Posted by Orchid , 26 July 2013 · 216 views

I hear very often people make statements of judgement about where a person is in their life...If they struggle with drugs, alcohol, sex, self harm, addictions, etc. People often say "Well they made those choices". I have a problem with that statement. The reason why is so many times humans coming from trauma are taught they can't make choices, taught to make the wrong choices, can't see beyond pain to make right choices, or truly are so blind to healthy choices they don't know any other option exist other than numbing pain, or survival. I think we all need to be very careful when we ASSUME people made choices that put them at a certain place in life. I'm not so certain that people from trauma have the field of oppotunity with choices. Most of a survivors life is a very narrow dead end street, with no outlet, or just another choice of another dead end alley. For those of us that made it out of the alley, or those people who had an open field, I think it's our responsibility to help other see options. To help them learn to navigate to safer streets with more options. Move them from the dark, damp, dreary alley, to an open clean pristine beach with a massive ocean of choices in front of them.

We do have options, we just haven't learned how to find them, or in a situation that limits them, or can even be afraid to make a different choice. My problem is I think a choice should be like a drink machine. I make a choice and OUT POPS an instant tangible result. However life choices work slowly at times........very very slowly. We choose something today, and next month we make a choice for the week, and then for the month....navigating through the maze until our life has taken on a different direction. This is all we can do as survivors. Then eventually twenty years down the road, we look back and realize.......Oh life is on a different track. Will we get lost, go in circles, and end up in the same alley......You bet. Disorientation is common.....but eventually by reaching out we can find our way to that beach for a day.... a week..... a month..... a year.....Some people live there because they have never been to the alley. We just need to first learn how to get there.

Take Good Care Everyone........Today see what choice can be made to nourish what is good for your soul.

Thank you for writing this. It is all well said.

Take good care of you :metoyou:
Jul 28 2013 04:41 PM
Beautifully put. I needed to read this today. It's easy to get overwhelmed when you're a survivor because it takes time to see the results of your good choices and there are many setbacks. It's so true that the best we can do is say: what soul nourishing choice can I make day?

Take care of yourself, Orchid!
I know this an older post but it spoke to me, I am trying to make "healthy" choices everyday, but as we all know it can be difficult. Just knowing that beach does exist is encouraging!
thanks for the words...

Thank you for writing this. It is all well said.Take good care of you :metoyou:/>


You are welcome.

Bluebutterfly....love the soul nourishing choice comment.

RailGirl, The beach is there. I just wrote a blog on linear paths, and how that has never been the case for me. I go up and down, but I promise you each up and down takes me to something more. I've seen the beach more than once. Hope you can do the same.

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