Trigger warning. (Just don't read this)
I want it so badly that I don't care whether it's quick and easy.
Once it's coming.
Once it comes fast,
Then I'll succumb.
I'm so fed up.
Of watching mindless souls indulge in frivolity,
While I sit on my bed,
Wondering if sleep is a good idea,
Till tegretol makes that decision for me,
And I wake up in fear.
So fuck this stupid life I'm living.
I exist solely for all the people I'm helping.
But other than that,
A boyfriend that treats me like I'm solid gold.
That has to listen to my pathetic whimpers every damn night?
He deserves better.
Better than this mass of solid waste.
I'm so tired.
Just kill me.