so at first i thought nothing will ever change ill always belittle my own thoughts ill always feel crippled when i have sex and ill never be able to let people in my life know what i want. but then i found the book the sexual healing journey and i am not even a quarter of the way through and i have noticed little differences. because of me becoming more aware of my feelings, what i am feeling, and why i am feeling them i feel that, that alone is a big help i thought it was my partner i didn't trust in the bed room i realized that i didn't trust my self. eliminating him as a threat helped me loosen up a lot more this morning was the best sex i have had with this man and ever because i was present in the room i was there with him instead of dissociating i felt my self drifting and i could feel myself withdrawing but i also felt like just having fun for the first time ever i was able to let go if only just a little bit i stopped worrying about what he thought of me and started thinking about what i wanted and what i needed and for some reason that seemed to turn him on more and that made me feel better today i feel what i want is important for the first time since i was a child all because of this book and i now feel like i am ready to progress further before it felt like if i wanted to sort my issues it would include dragging up the past so much that it gives me a nervous breakdown but its not about that. i believe its about finding who you are and change your perception of sex to a healthy view on it but most importantly realizing how you feel being aware of when you feel that way and knowing its important and knowing you want to be happy.