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I'm Back

Posted by sktgrl119 , 19 October 2013 · 67 views

Its been some time since I have been on Pandy's. It is a place I come periodically when I need re-fueling and a chance to get in touch with thoughts and feelings.

I'm not 100% sure why but fall is a tough season for me. I believe that there might be an anniversary trigger around this time of year but my memory for what happened isn't great. I've blocked out events and I only have one solid recollection of an event occurring at this time of year. I don't know if I buy into that hypothesis by my therapist but not outside realm of possibility.

I had an interesting discussion with my therapist recently. I was talking with her about headaches I've been having and she commented that I'm not someone to be somatic and that I'm not one to be looking for secondary gain. I discussed that I feel uncomfortable with people taking care of me. I'm generally independent and like to be able to do things on my own schedule. Later in the discussion, she pointed out that I'm someone who often seeks the approval of people in authority.

On the one hand, I'm fiercely independent YET, I desperately want people to like me and think highly of me. This is BY FAR the strangest dichotomy in my personality I have encountered yet! So, what is the middle ground on this? Interdependence. How do I get there? Not sure. Its a work in progress.



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laurenbacall
Oct 19 2013 01:09 AM
Welcome Back!
Great post. I think it describes what many of us on Pandys struggle with, including myself. I tend to be in different categories or ways over the years.

I was independent in my teens, then I became dependent and needy after SA, and now I am working on application of being independent again and not waiting for someone to do so many things for me.

As far as interdependence, It is being practiced as me and my spouse are mutually dependent on each other to accomplish certain goals and tasks. I like that as I recover from SA I am becoming less dependent and more independent and interdependent. Yeah!
Welcome back. And I agree with you and Lauren, I think it describes many of us here on Pandys.

Welcome Back!Great post. I think it describes what many of us on Pandys struggle with, including myself. I tend to be in different categories or ways over the years. I was independent in my teens, then I became dependent and needy after SA, and now I am working on application of being independent again and not waiting for someone to do so many things for me. As far as interdependence, It is being practiced as me and my spouse are mutually dependent on each other to accomplish certain goals and tasks. I like that as I recover from SA I am becoming less dependent and more independent and interdependent. Yeah!



Thanks for the response! I'm surprised to see others responding to my blog so quickly.
I do have a number of healthy relationships where I would say I'm interdependent. Just surprised at these two seemingly opposite extremes both being present in me. It was one of those "ah ha" moments of growth.
Once again, thanks for the response, its always nice to hear I'm not the only one with this kind of stuff going on. Take care

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