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Donna Mae DePola - Guest Speaker Chat ...May 25th 2013 ... for more information please read this!
There is still plenty of time and spaces if you'd like to sign up for the Guest Speaker Chat scheduled for this Saturday!
There is still plenty of time and spaces if you'd like to sign up for the Guest Speaker Chat scheduled for this Saturday!
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Trigger warning for mention of SI and suicidal thought.
I've been struggling again, with urges to SI, and thoughts of suicide. Yesterday, I kept thinking, it's time, I'm done. And my mood keeps fluctuating between depression and anxiety. Some of my anxiety has been pretty horrible.
Dr K has been working with me on my anxiety. And my depression, but we are focusing on my anxiety. Which has been different lately.
I used to have anxiety attacks mainly when I was triggered. Lately, I've been having them for no apparent reason. They just seem to come on with a vengeance.
I have been trying to write more. I think I'm having some success as far as that goes. Today, I wrote a poem. Here it is.
To not die
The bullet between my teeth
I bite down
Jaw clenched hard
To stifle the scream
To hide the pain
I bite down
My mouth fills
With the venom
With the poison
With the bitter taste
Of all I feel
Of all I believe
Of all of the pain
Of living every day
On the outside
I am smiling
On the inside
I am drowning
As I struggle to stay afloat
As I struggle to survive
As I struggle to not cut
As I struggle to not bleed
As I struggle to not die
I've been struggling again, with urges to SI, and thoughts of suicide. Yesterday, I kept thinking, it's time, I'm done. And my mood keeps fluctuating between depression and anxiety. Some of my anxiety has been pretty horrible.
Dr K has been working with me on my anxiety. And my depression, but we are focusing on my anxiety. Which has been different lately.
I used to have anxiety attacks mainly when I was triggered. Lately, I've been having them for no apparent reason. They just seem to come on with a vengeance.
I have been trying to write more. I think I'm having some success as far as that goes. Today, I wrote a poem. Here it is.
To not die
The bullet between my teeth
I bite down
Jaw clenched hard
To stifle the scream
To hide the pain
I bite down
My mouth fills
With the venom
With the poison
With the bitter taste
Of all I feel
Of all I believe
Of all of the pain
Of living every day
On the outside
I am smiling
On the inside
I am drowning
As I struggle to stay afloat
As I struggle to survive
As I struggle to not cut
As I struggle to not bleed
As I struggle to not die
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*hugs* if okay.
I'm sorry you can relate. Thank you for the hugs, and hugs for you too.