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A Beginning

Posted by HardCor , 07 June 2013 · 27 views

I have been inspired by the voices here to share more of my own story. The bravery and the pain that I see on these pages gives me the courage to continue on my journey of healing. You are all so brave, and so kind to share your painful stories. I see that there is healing in sharing. There is a world community of abused women, and I am one of them.

I have been silent for 25 years, but I can not hide anymore. I do not want to live my life as a lie, hiding my feelings, trying to be the perfect daughter, mother, wife, boss. Trying to hide myself and pretend that its okay. it wasn't okay, I am not okay. I am hurt, mad, sad, anxious, I am a survivor and I'm pissed about it. I am not going to be shamed into silence any longer. My abusers were the bad ones, not me.

A year ago I wouln't have said these words. A year ago I couldn't say the word sexual assault. I have worked hard this last year and found a great T who I am so so so grateful to have. I was alone in a dangerous world. I have come far, but still have such a long way to go. Do we really heal from this? Or is this a part of who I am, this violent story? Has this defined me, or can I claim this history withour shame?

Thank you for being here, thank you for reading, thank you for supporting each other. I hope that as I unfold my story in this blog that my story can inspire others.



I stand with you in understanding and hope. I too have been silent for too long. I want to tell my children so they will finally understand my need to please others and sacrifice myself instead of standing up for myself. Why I don't look people in the eye or cringe from random touch.

Thank YOU for sharing, your story has helped me! Bless you and all of us as we travel the journey of healing and wholeness! :metoyou:
When I look in my daughters eyes I know the fight is worth it. I will not let this silence be a legacy for her. I want her to know what is right and what is wrong. And why moms in pain. We talk about our physical ailments with our children, but somehow the culture of silence keeps us locked inside ourselves. I want to empower the next generation, I want to give her the tools and the voice to stand up for herself. What happened to us was wrong, but it wasn't our fault. I so want to stamp out the shame. Thanks for sharing your need to speak out.

December 2014

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Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.