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Day 132: ObGyn Visit Plan

Posted by intrepidshe , in Gynecology, Healing Work 21 April 2014 · 274 views

Apr. 21, 2014 Countdown: 3 days to ObGyn Appointment (61 Days Into Becoming):
  • I will recognize that I'm feeling anxiety now, even though I haven't been willing to pay attention to it. I have a headache and I didn't sleep well the last few nights. My shoulders hurt, and I have felt very aggressive at work.
  • I will ask my T to call the ObGyn again to review the plan and my fears. I hope she doesn't mind. It's really hard for me to get away to bring paper to the doctor's office. But, I feel like a huge bother to my T with this request, like I should get over it.
  • I will ask the doctor about her reactions to my letter. I want to know if she thought it was weird that I wrote her a letter after the gynecologic exam appointment.
  • I will take notes during the appointment and double check them with the doctor to make sure I wrote things down correctly.
  • I will ask the doctor to grab my hand if I dissociate. That will bring me back without scaring me.
  • I will write a posting after the appointment to help decompress the emotions I'll be feeling, whatever has happened at the appointment.
  • I will remind myself that getting health care is a need, no matter what the outcome of the appointment. I will remind myself that I deserve to take care of myself.
  • If there are no bad findings, I will rejoice in my good health. I will remind myself this is good news and not at all shameful. I will remind myself this is an opportunity to embrace further healing to reduce pain and feel well.
  • I will go for a walk afterward with the dog and with one or both of my sons.
  • I will take a relaxing shower for as long as I want.
  • I will allow myself to call in sick the next day if I feel awful.
  • I will call my T if I feel really bad afterward, especially if I feel the need to SH.
  • I will carefully consider the advice and recommendations of the doctor. I will follow her recommendations unless it's clear they could be harmful to me. In the past I have simply not trusted their recommendations.
  • I will follow up with her if I have questions and I won't feel guilty about it.
  • I will ask my doctor friend to come to my next appointment if I still feel afraid, especially if it's a physical exam.
  • I will tell my doctor friend about the ObGyn appointment, not to get her medical advice, but to let her know how it went and to share my reactions with her, so I can talk to someone I know in person who cares about me, with whom I might feel safe to express my emotions. I think if I keep trusting her and opening up to her, I might find a genuine friendship there. I certainly won't find it if I don't.




There are some good things here. One leaped out at me though intrepid, and I have a gentle challenge for you:

"I will ask the doctor about her reactions to my letter. I want to know if she thought it was weird that I wrote her a letter after the gynecologic exam appointment."

Why do you need to know this? If it is something that is acceptable to you, that helps you manage, then it is ok. Your doctor will make of it what she will, and she sounds to me like she is in the right profession because she cares and understands about your circumstances.

Tgc

Mand

I think this is a good list.  I particularly like that you are building in some aftercare steps to ensure that you remember you have permission to be upset and take comfort in little things after. 

 

I particularly like the last one. :-)   

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yarnfoolishness
Apr 22 2014 12:05 PM

This is a good plan.  :)

 

I'll ride in your pocket if you like.

 

:cuppa:

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intrepidshe
Apr 22 2014 08:36 PM

There are some good things here. One leaped out at me though intrepid, and I have a gentle challenge for you:

"I will ask the doctor about her reactions to my letter. I want to know if she thought it was weird that I wrote her a letter after the gynecologic exam appointment."

Why do you need to know this? If it is something that is acceptable to you, that helps you manage, then it is ok. Your doctor will make of it what she will, and she sounds to me like she is in the right profession because she cares and understands about your circumstances.

Tgc

Mand

 

Mand,

 

I thought about it and realized I really don't need to know. I wrote it because I wanted to express my appreciation. I don't really need to know if she felt appreciated. I would write another letter to her if I felt the desire to do so. So, it doesn't matter if she thinks it's weird, unless she would rather I didn't do that. But, it's up to her to tell me so.

 

Thanks for getting me to think about this.

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intrepidshe
Apr 22 2014 08:37 PM

This is a good plan.  smile.png

 

I'll ride in your pocket if you like.

 

tea%20smilie.gif

 

 

I am definitely going to need pocket riders to help me keep my wits about me and protect my boundaries. I learned a tough lesson today.

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intrepidshe
Apr 22 2014 08:38 PM

I think this is a good list.  I particularly like that you are building in some aftercare steps to ensure that you remember you have permission to be upset and take comfort in little things after. 

 

I particularly like the last one. :-)   

 

Thanks Nebulas. Thanks very much. :-)

About Intrepid She

This is a moderated PUBLIC blog. This blog is a therapeutic tool I am using to help me get over my fear of doctors (which is made difficult by a history of abuse by them) to learn to grieve, and ultimately to integrate my dis-integrated heart.

 

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To the many others walking your own version of this path, I wish you well on your journey. -Intrepid

 

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